‘Do what?’
‘Sort it all.’
‘What does that mean?’ Alanna asked him, down but not out.
‘Maybe I’ll, I dunno, ask Jerry to go poly or something?’ Steve said vaguely.
‘Do you think he’ll want to do that?’
Steve didn’t say anything for a long moment. Then he sat back down. ‘No. I don’t think he’ll go for it.’
‘From what I understand about Jerry, I’d have to agree. So the question that we have to answer before we can go on is, do youwantto stay in your marriage?’ Alanna asked him.
He bit his lip. ‘Yes.’
‘But Jerry made it clear that he wanted you to be monogamous.’
‘Yes,’ Steve nodded.
‘So you’re in a situation where something needs to give. Your marriage or your habit.’
Steve slumped down in his chair. ‘Yeah,’ he breathed.
‘And that’s hard for you because you feel you need both to be happy.’
‘I guess.’
‘So, which do you think you need to sacrifice?’
‘Kurt. It’s obviously Kurt.’ He looked at Alanna. ‘I know that.’
‘Could you do that today if you decided to?’ Alanna asked gently.
He thought about it. ‘Yeah. Maybe. Or… I don’t know.’ His brow creased deeply. ‘Maybe not. No.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because…’ He didn’t seem to like where that sentence took him, but he finished it anyway. ‘I can’t stop. I don’t know how to stop. I’m addicted to him. To the sex,’ he said, tears running down his cheeks.
Alanna nodded and smiled, proud of him. ‘Let’s talk about that, shall we?’
‘OK,’ Steve agreed sadly.
***
Alanna was in a toilet the size of a coffin, though it had the advantage of being hers alone, just off the office she used for clients. She had a dress hung in there and she constricted herself into it, pulled a brush through her long, thick hair and slapped on as much makeup as five minutes would allow. She looked in her little hand mirror, not getting the full effect but hoping it would do. Ultimately, it didn’t matter if she spent five minutes or five hours getting ready. Her mother would find fault either way. Better to phone it in and give zero fucks. It was her own version of a victory.
She dashed out and grabbed a cab, stressed every second of the journey. This was not going to be fun. She didn’t expect Keira to be there yet, that she’d turn up when she felt like it. It was only fair.
Only when she got there, Keira—looking sexy as fuck in jeans that let you know her arse wasn’t here to play—was standing sipping champagne with her mother, her mother’s husband, and Benjamin. The cognitive dissonance of seeing this collection of people in a social situation nearly broke Alanna’s brain. ‘Hello, everyone.’
Keira turned to see her and gave her a funny look up and down.
Her mother, who seemed oddly angry, said. ‘Well,so gladyou could make it.’
Alanna knew a passive-aggressive carp when she heard it. ‘Mum, I was at work. I did text you.’
‘Hullo,’ Benjamin said to her.
