During the intermission, Elnaz was swallowed up by a gang from the production company. She introduced Bente to them, but once Bente had finished talking about her show, she couldn’t think of anything else to say, and started to wonder how the evening was going at Rendezvous. Had a lot of people shown up? And what if Hanna and Mom were engaged in some kind of cocktail-making competition. That was a terrifying thought—they would scare all the clients away. No one would come back.
She kept on looking around, hoping to spot Didrik. Had he changed his mind about coming? What the hell was she doing here anyway?
Was it too late? What if he’d given up? She should have dropped her guard long ago, let him get close to her instead of keeping her distance. Standing in the middle of this crowded room, she suddenly knew just how much she missed him.
All at once the hum of conversation grew louder. There was movement farther down the room, and Bente tried to see what was going on.
Then she saw the suited figure making his way through the crowd. Her heart began to pound. Not a hint of tweed, but instead a dark-blue, well-fitting suit. The thick hair had been combed, but was still doing its own thing. This was definitely Didrik, confidently entering the venue like the popular star he was.
He met her gaze, and a shudder of pleasure ran through her entire body. She stood there frozen to the spot. She couldn’t stop staring. He was looking straight at her, no one else.
He was beaming as he hurried over. “Bente! I hoped you’d be here. I’ve called you, messaged, I—” He broke off, took both her hands in his, and looked her up and down, from top to toe. “You’re so beautiful. Unbelievably beautiful.”
Her cheeks were on fire, she looked away. “Thank you.”
He put his hand under her chin, tilted her face up to his. “I want to apologize for ... everything. Above all I want to say that I don’t knowwhat I’m doing.” He drew her closer. She could feel the warmth of his breath on her forehead.
Seeing him like this, hearing him like this, made every last scrap of anger melt away. Her whole body felt soft. She just wanted to be hugged, to inhale the intoxicating smell of him.
“I don’t know what I’m doing either,” she said. “Whatwe’redoing.” She laughed, then became serious. “I don’t want to change you. You’re perfect just the way you are.”
“I know you don’t want to do that. I know, Iknow.” He took a deep breath. “And that’s why I’m so in love with you. Because you want me exactly as I am. And it’s not just that—you’ve made a real effort for me. Opened up, shared your thoughts and feelings with me.”
He placed his hand over hers. “What’s so fantastic about you is that I don’t have to pretend. I can just be myself. I thought I needed to change and look to the future so that we could be together. But the thing about you is that you give me space, all the space I need to be myself. You bring out the best in me, Bente.” He glanced around, seemed not to notice all the curious looks. “I apologize for all the dumb things I said. About the party.” He closed his eyes. Shook his head as if he were trying to erase the memory of his stupid question. “I was searching for some way to validate the insecurity I felt. I don’t even know why I asked the question. Maybe because I needed to focus on some practical detail, because I couldn’t bear the thought of us splitting up. I can be kind of pragmatic and solution oriented sometimes—I need to work on that.”
He smiled his wonderful smile and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, causing her to shudder with pleasure at his touch. “Bente, will you please continue dating me? My life is richer than it’s ever been when I’m with you. I have never been more sure of myself and what I want. Every day I spend with you is a fun day. Until now, I’ve been blinded by all kinds of expectations, by how it seems thingsoughtto be. With you I feel so secure, even though I never know how the day is going to turn out. Children aren’t important—being withyou is important. We can take every day as it comes. The main thing is that I get to be with you.” He spoke quickly, desperate to get the words out, then fell silent.
Bente smiled. “You’ve said everything I need to hear.”
“Everything?”
She nodded. “I’ve also been carrying my own insecurity; it’s blinded me, held me back. That’s why I’ve been on my guard, but when I opened up to you, I felt ... safe.” She paused. “I felt safe because I knew you could help me, and you have. Taking that first step was tough, but once it was done, I felt a sense of calmness, because I knew you’d handle things in the right way. Because I thought you’d stay around.”
“And then I said I needed time to think ...” Didrik said.
“And then you said you needed time to think.” She smiled. “But that’s okay. You’re here now.”
He rested his forehead against hers as she continued talking.
“During the last few days I’ve done a lot of thinking, too, about how I want to live my life,” Bente told him. “It’s been so hard to find my place. But now, with you ... I think I know my place and where I ought to be.”
He looked into her eyes. “So what is your place?”
She gazed around the room. “Not here, anyway. It’s been there all along, I just thought I needed something more, when in fact I’m perfectly satisfied with what I have right now. Especially with you.”
Didrik kissed her, deeply and for a long time. Then he said: “Let’s get out of here.”
40
Rendezvous was virtually empty when they arrived. Didrik had insisted on dropping by the office to pick something up, and had returned to the cab with a bag containing something wrapped in brown paper.
Ellie was just locking up, but opened the door when Bente waved to her from the cab.
Outside the car the air was fresh; it smelled of an early-summer night, with the fresh dampness of new growth and the dry warmth of asphalt gradually cooling in the chill of the evening.
Didrik came around to her side, and they walked into the bar hand in hand.
Agneta was sitting at a table distractedly stirring a cocktail, her attention focused on her phone. Candy Crush, no doubt. Hanna was behind the bar cleaning up.
