I shake my head. “I’m not sure. But Landonwasn’tright about that one detail.”
Maddox gives me a confused look. “What does that mean?”
I quirk a brow at him. I don’t want to have to say it. I've never liked talking about private stuff like this.
It takes him a second, but his mouth slowly falls open and understanding lights his eyes. “You’re kidding. She was a vir—”
“Yep.” I cut him off before he can finish the word, rubbing my hand over my jaw again. “The girl who told him Lux was sleeping her way around the high school was either lying or misinformed.” I hold out my fist. “I’m gonna ice my face. Thanks for the fight.”
He bumps it back with his. “Anytime.”
I begin to walk away but he stops me. “Hey, Hawk… so if you were wrong about that…” He looks down at his hands. “How do you deal with the fact that you tormented this girl when she didn’t deserve any of it?”
I shake my head. “I have a feeling I’ll be down on my goddamn knees. Begging.”
* * *
Back in the suite,I dig around for a bag of frozen corn that we’ve taken to keeping on hand for stuff like this. At some point, Kellan had drawn a skull and crossbones on it so we’d all know not to actually eat the stuff considering how many times it’s been thawed and refrozen. Pulling it out, I press it to the side of my face and sit down at the table.
A few seconds later, I catch a glimpse of purple in the hallway.Fuck.I want to call out to her, but I shouldn’t. I can’t. If she wants to speak to me, she will. I can wait, I guess, even though it’s tearing me apart inside. With my heart hurting over everything I want to say to her, I fold my arms on the table and rest my head while awkwardly holding the frozen veggies to my face. I’m feeling a little drowsy, so I let myself drift.
“Gage?” A hand lands lightly on my shoulder. “Are you okay? What happened?”
I draw in a startled breath, thinking I’m hallucinating or something. How the hell long have I been dozing? As I lift my head, the semi-frozen bag drops from my face to the table. I couldn’t care less, though, because Lux is right fucking here in the middle of my suite. I blink, just to make sure she’s really here beside me. I wince, touching my fingers to my jaw. “Fucking Maddox.”
“Hehityou?” A line forms in the middle of her forehead as her brows draw together.
I hold up a hand to set her straight. “We were sparring. And I wasn’t on my game. It was fuckin’ stupid. No big deal.”
Her pink tongue darts out to wet her lips. “Oh.”
I push away from the table so I can put the bag back into the freezer. Her gray eyes are on me the entire time, every move I make. My mouth goes dry. I don’t even fucking know where to start. But she’s here. Right here.
Water. I need water.I yank the fridge open and bend to survey the contents. Extracting a bottle of water for myself and setting it on the counter, I then pause with one hand on the door, peering over it at Lux. The force of what I feel is like a horse kick to the chest.Don’t fuck this up.“You want a bottle of water or something?”
She clears her throat. “Um. Sure. That’d be good.”
Pulling one out, I loosen the cap for her and hand it over as I shut the fridge. I make it all the way to the couch before I realize she’s still over by the table where I left her, her gaze shifting between me and the door.Please tell me she’s not about to walk out that door.“Lux. Come here.” I exhale hard, then lift my arms from my sides. “Please. I’d like to talk.”
She looks so fucking pretty, her hair swept on top of her head, her face clean of makeup. The desire to pull her into my arms and never let go slams into me. This girl. She’s stolen my fucking heart. I wish I deserved hers.
“Oh. I didn’t—” She jerks to a stop.
I drag my teeth over my lip, studying her. “You came over here for a reason, right?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I did.” She draws in a deep breath before crossing the room and perching on the edge of the couch. She’s a mere foot away—I could reach out and touch her if I thought she would allow me to—but so fucking far, I’m dying. It feels like there's a crater the depth of the Grand Canyon between us. Eyeing me, she takes a sip of her water. “I’ve been thinking a lot, um, since everything happened last week. Really, my brain has been on overload since the first of the semester.” She glances down at the bottle, picking at the label. “I, um, was hoping you’d be willing to answer some questions for me.”
Can’t say I’m surprised that she has them. Hell, I have a few of my own. My heart begins to pound. “I… yeah. I can do that.”
She looks up into my eyes, and it hits me that she looks very, very tired. Like bordering on exhaustion.My fucking fault.She presses her lips together. “I hardly know where to begin. Um. I get that you thought… or think”—she rubs a few fingers over her forehead—“that I did something to cause the accident or hurt your brother. I don’t know. And maybe that’s why you did what you did.” She shakes her head and looks off over my shoulder. “And I do want to talk about that… because I feel like— Like maybe it would clear some things up. But I also think you kinda owe it to me to explain why I didn’t have a clue that Landon had a twin. Because that’s what’s been screwing with my head so bad I can’t function.” She looks away from me, blinking rapidly. “Can’t eat. Can’t sleep.” Her voice hitches.
My chest clenches. I’d give anything to take it all fucking back. Every last awful thing I said to her. Every threat I made. Every time I scared her. But I won’t take back what I felt when I was with her.
She draws in a shaky breath. “I guess I want to know where you were. Why weren’t you at Blackheart Academy with your brother? I didn’t know you fucking existed until Ryleigh said your name.” Her hands tremble. “That revelation has hurt me more than you know—to find out you misled me like that… all while I was so confused about how I could be feeling things for you. If you knew—” She stops again and a single tear slides down her cheek. She wipes it away with a few fingers.
I grip the back of my neck, noting how she has her lip clamped between her teeth. I’m fairly certain it’s to stop it from trembling. “I get it. What I did was shitty.”
She plays with a few pieces of hair that have escaped her messy bun, twisting them between her fingers as she considers my words. “It was beyond shitty, Gage. It borders on reprehensible. Inexcusable.”
