It not only changed the subject nicely, but Craig got to address something that really had been nagging at him. His whole life, he had thought that he had to hide his sexuality, in part because of the casual homophobia all around him. His father had never been particularly nasty about it, but it had been clear, growing up, that two men together, or two women, wasn’t considered normal.
“Malcolm is happy,” the older man replied, and then he changed the subject again, onto something far safer and more mundane.
But it made Craig think about his own attitudes, because if his father could come that close to admitting that he’d been wrong, maybe he was holding on to something that he didn’t need to. Old habits didn’t die easily, but maybe, just maybe, he should try.
Could it be much worse than living with constant self-disgust?
Seven
Skyler
Time went by. A month, then two. Christmas passed, and the New Year. His sister’s wedding was in early May, but he hadn’t heard back from her yet. She hadn’t even accepted his friend request yet.
As the weeks passed, he started to wonder if she even wanted to talk to him. Maybe his mother had gotten to her. In fact, that even seemed likely to him, that Hannah shared their mother’s distaste for Skyler. After all, there had been all of those years when Hannah had still lived at home and Skyler had been gone.
And then, one day early in the year, Skyler checked his Facebook. He hadn’t made it a habit yet. There had been a few people from high school who had found and added him, but he was rarely on. It had been about a week since he’d last bothered.
There it was, bright and clear at the top of his page. His sister, Hannah West, had accepted his friend request. Just when he’d given up, too. Not only that, but the icon claimed that he had a new message, something that had never happened before.
Skyler. Oh, my God. I can’t believe you finally found me. I’ve been looking for you for months. You’d better be coming to my wedding!
The words were right there, in black and white, and it was then that Skyler realized that he hadn’t actually believed this could happen. Perhaps because he’d never done it before, he had assumed that it wouldn’t work out. And he’d just been starting to think that, if he wanted to go to his sister’s wedding, he was going to have to play things his mother’s way.
He stared at the chat bubble, and a dully pulsating frustration filled him because he had no idea what to say, now that she’d reached out to him. He had somehow thought it would all be okay once he was in contact with her, but now that he was, he was just as clueless as he had ever been.
There were probably people who were much more comfortable with this sort of thing than he was. On the rare occasion, he had to use email, he was brief and to the point, and that worked out for the small number of times that he had had to reach out in a business context. When he’d been working with Kyle, there had been no business to speak of, and the ranch didn’t require a lot of that sort of thing.
But this was a whole different animal, anyway. This was his sister, his estranged sister, who he had been kept from for years. And everything that he could think of to type sounded so trite to him that he couldn’t imagine actually sending the message at all.
Can you call me?
He finally, slowly, taking about ten times longer to tap out the words than he really should have, had a message that he could send. It took a full two, maybe three, minutes to write out the four simple words, and then his phone number. And after that, it was maybe a further ten minutes or so before he was brave enough to send it.
It had taken her months to accept his request, and he just had to hope that it wouldn’t take as long for her to check her Facebook again. It seemed like ignoring that particular piece of technology ran in the family.
Which meant it was a definite surprise when he saw the icon light up at the bottom of the chat bubble, the one that saidseen.She had seen his message. A sort of panic raced through him. He was so far out of his comfort zone here, and he held his breath as he waited to see what would happen.
A split second later, he almost jumped as his cell phone started to jangle merrily at him. He closed his eyes, shutting the laptop screen blindly and then reaching for his phone, which sat nearby.
Not too many people called him. He lived with most of the people who would. It was pretty much just his mother, and she had stopped calling when she realized that he wasn’t just going to go along with what she had decreed cheerfully.
The phone rang on, and Skyler realized that, if he wasn’t careful, he was going to end up missing it. So he took a long, deep breath, trying to steady himself. He had absolutely no idea how this was going to go, and he’d never been the sort of person who was great when he was taken out of his comfort zone.
“Hello,” he answered, so far so good. His voice didn’t crack or anything. But his stomach clenched, feeling more than a little nauseated. Even before Hannah spoke, he knew it was her, and it was intensely nerve-wracking for him. Worth it, but terrifying.
“Skyler, oh my God.”
Skyler had to close his eyes against the sudden rush of tears that prickled at his eyes. He wasn’t a big crier, but to hear his baby sister’s voice again, after all these years, after so long being kept from her. To know at least that she did want to talk to him, too. It was a lot, and he had to swallow around the lump in his throat before he replied.
“Hey, Hannah.”
“Don’t youhey, Hannahme, you jackass,” Hannah replied, her voice so familiar that it ached deep inside of the pit of his stomach. Skyler had to close his eyes, just to focus on keeping himself from falling apart. “Where the hell have you been? Do you know I’m getting married in a few months? Are you going to come?”
It was so familiar. So completely and totally something that he was used to from them growing up, right down to the rapid-fire questions. And he, just like always, had no idea how to deal with it, which question to answer first.
“Yes, Mom told me that you’re getting married, and I would like to be there,” Skyler replied, figuring that those were the most important of the questions. Not to mention the least confusing to answer. The whole issue about where he had been, he wasn’t even sure how to start going in to.
He didn’t even know what she had been up to from the day that he had walked away—or been kicked out. It was hard to say which it had been. He was glad to go, and his mother and father were glad to have him gone.
