“But you want to be,” she noted, far too perceptive. But what did it matter? He might as well admit it because, with everything between him and Madison, with the situation that they found themselves in, it wasn’t like this was going to be really any sort of big deal to her.
So he nodded, though his voice didn’t seem to want to work, and swallowed hard.
“So maybe you can make it work,” she murmured, and she even reached out and put a hand, just briefly, on his shoulder. “I would give my baby just to you, but I think it would be really amazing if you could raise her with the man that you love. I think that would be ideal.”
John closed his eyes, just for a moment. In just a few words, she painted a picture that he found far too compelling, but that was all it was. A picture. An illusion. A fantasy. Because Brett wanted nothing to do with the baby.
“We don’t have to do this test,” John suddenly spoke up, not just to change the subject. The more time he spent with this woman, the more she showed her character, the more he realized that he didn’t need the genetic proof. She wasn’t lying to him. Everything pointed to that, her being so willing to do this test, for instance. She wouldn’t do that and seem so completely calm about the outcome, if she had any doubt at all.
He was her drunken mistake, but he was willing to bet that he was the only one who had been.
“No, I already paid for it. Besides, I think it would be better if you knew for sure. If you had no doubts at all,” she told him. A woman in scrubs came out, called Madison’s name, and John’s, and Madison started the process of rising to her feet.
In seconds, it was done. Nothing more than a quick blood test, and they were told that they would have the results in a week and that it would be emailed to them if they wanted. John had been wondering about that. Would he need to wait, or would they tell him right away?
Really, he was indifferent about the outcome. He knew, and he was certain, no matter what Madison said.
They left together, and stood facing each other on the sidewalk outside, like neither of them was quite sure what to do next. What did you say to the woman that you had inadvertently knocked up?
“When are you due?” he asked, glancing down at her stomach, and she gave him a bit of a smile, her hand protectively on the swell of her stomach.
“I was due a few days ago. It could be any time,” she admitted, and John felt his stomach clench. “I’ll keep her until the test comes back. And then, if you want her, she’s yours. I would rather she be with her father.”
John laughed softly and dared to reach out to press his fingers against the taut, warm skin of her stomach, just for a second. He didn’t love this woman, but he was sure the hell coming to respect her, and he already loved the baby.
“I told you, I don’t need the test,” he informed her. “I’ll take her. The moment you go into labor, you let me know, I’ll be there faster than you would believe. Maybe the situation isn’t ideal, but yeah. Yeah, I want her.”
She looked at him, studying his face, and then she nodded slightly, as though satisfied. What must it be like, to be looking into the face of the man who was going to raise her child?
“If you want, you can see her,” he offered. “She can know her mom. You just let me know.”
Madison abruptly turned away and started to walk, or rather, waddle, away, as quickly as she could go, but before she left, John was sure that he saw the gleam of tears in her eyes. What that meant, he wasn’t entirely sure, and he watched her retreating back before he turned and left himself.
