“What is this? Aaron, you’ve signed it.” Brad’s eyes were no longer quite as flat and cold. There was something, something big, going on behind them if Brad would just let down his walls a little bit more.
But Aaron couldn’t speak. In the end, his fear was ruling him. And that fact pissed him off. He had lost everything, maybe, because he was too afraid to speak, to say what he wanted. Too proud. Too scared to lose everything that he had done that exact thing to himself.
“I’ve signed it,” Aaron confirmed. And the more that he spoke, the more that strange, icy lump in his throat melted. He was saying the words, and to his surprise there was some freedom to that. “I’m yours. If you want me.”
In so many different ways, he meant those words. He would be Brad’s client, his superstar, if that’s all that Brad wanted. Or if he wanted more, well, Aaron finally felt like he was open to that. But he wouldn’t try to force it to be anything other than what Brad was comfortable with.
“… Aaron,” Brad whispered, apparently unable to stop himself from saying Aaron’s name over and over again. And that was when Aaron started to get really afraid, when he was sure that he wouldn’t even be able to make his pitch before Brad turned him down completely.
“I talked to Justin,” Aaron admitted. It was the last thing that he had, the last offer he could make, the only thing that he could think of that might show Brad that he was serious. There was this urge just to get it all out in the open, and he quickly spoke before Brad stopped him.
“Justin?” Brad echoed, and Aaron nodded and rushed right on.
“He said that he’d be happy to write a song for me. For … for us.” Aaron took a deep breath and laid it all out on the table for Brad to appraise. It was the scariest thing that he had ever done, and there was still part of him that was screaming at him not to try, but it was a smaller part, much smaller than it had ever been before. “For my solo career. You know how the Lost Boys all had their own song? Darien and Noah, Lance and Jamie, Ken and Justin? Justin said he would write a song for us.”
And that was all that he had. He had made his play, and the rest of it was up to Brad, and no one else. Justin would help, and Aaron knew that the rest of the Lost Boys would help, too. He had contacted them, and while they had told him that they were breaking up the band, they had also said that they would be happy to do guest spots on his album.
Brad still didn’t speak, and as Aaron looked at him, he saw that his eyes had changed completely. The wall was down, they were clear and open, and it was then that Aaron came to a revelation that stunned him.
Brad had a lump of his own lodged right in his throat, and that was why he couldn’t speak. Most people wouldn’t have known that, couldn’t have known that, but Aaron did.
Actions were better, maybe. The words were out there, but he and Brad had always been more action based than word based because their words could be misconstrued, could be cruel or thoughtless or just plain scared, but their actions were pure.
So Aaron did a brave thing. Maybe the bravest thing that he had done. While Brad was still just sitting there, his hand resting on the snowy white of the tablecloth, Aaron reached out for him and put his own hand lightly over Brad’s. If he pulled away, Aaron would let him.
But he didn’t pull away. Instead, he flipped his hand over, took Aaron’s in a firm grasp, and pulled him to his feet in one smooth movement. The table between them couldn’t stop them, and Brad was leaning for him, pressing toward him. Their lips met over the table, right in the trendy restaurant, while the people around them tried politely not to notice.
Not all of them, of course. Some people were staring, and Aaron was pretty sure that he heard a few clicks as phones took pictures. For the first time, though, he didn’t care. It didn’t matter to him if this made it to the tabloids, and it seemed that it didn’t matter to Brad, either.
“Come home with me,” Brad whispered, and Aaron almost melted, his legs almost went out, with the rush of warm, comforting relief that went through his whole body. With those four words, Brad accepted everything that Aaron had offered.
But there were a few words that Aaron had to say, that it was crucial that he said right then before the moment passed away completely. So he looked into Brad’s eyes, unflinching, and let them spill from his lips.
“I love you, Brad.”
A smile which made Brad look a good five years younger than he was, if not more, touched Brad’s lips, and he whispered back words that Aaron had never thought to hear.
“I love you, too, Aaron.”
