“Okay. Let’s go over the set list for tomorrow night,” Lester commented as if nothing had happened,as if he hadn’t just basically forbidden them from falling in love. Did other boy bands have to deal with this? Other stars? Darien had never thought about it before, but there did seem to be an awful lot of celebrity couples.
“Darien’s song should be ready by then,” a familiar, deep voice came from the doorway, and Darien wondered how long Justin had been there, how much of that he’d seen. How much he’d heard.
Darien’s song. His song. His and Noah’s, which he had written with Justin back when the world seemed to be fresh and new and his relationship full of promise. He couldn’t sing that song now, and he stood up abruptly.
“Justin, I need to talk to you,” he informed the older man, and left his clearly curious coworkers behind as he walked over to Justin, who raised an eyebrow at him but nodded as they huddled into a quiet corner together, far enough that no one else, not even Lester, could hear them.
Especially not Lester. It had been made clearer than ever that the man lived and breathed for money. If he bled at all, he would bleed green, the same color as the money that he loved more than anything else.
“I can’t do the song. Take it off the set list,” Darien demanded, getting right to the point.
“It’s ready,” Justin told him. “You’ll have tomorrow to practice it. You’re a professional. You can do this. You don’t need to be nervous.”
Darien shook his head. He was a quick learner, and that wasn’t what he was worried about at all. He could easily pick it up if he wanted to, but that wasn’t the issue here.
“It’s not that. I’m not with Noah anymore,” Darien said, and he forced his voice to come out as blunt as a baseball bat. There was no point in sugar-coating it, though it was the first time that he’d said the words out loud. “I don’t want to sing our love song.”
Love song, because that was exactly what it had been, a love song between him and Noah. But Noah had never been in love, or else how could he walk away so easily? At the first sign of trouble, Noah retreated back into his shell, turtling away from the world, from Darien.
Justin retreated a little bit, his face falling almost expressionless, except for his eyes, which burned. All of the reaction that Darien had thought he might get from the other members of the Lost Boys, and hadn’t, he saw in those eyes.
“You broke up with Noah,” Justin echoed, and there wasn’t just surprise in those steely gray eyes. There was displeasure, too, disapproval.
“He broke up with me,” Darien protested, not liking that look. But he winced with guilt as Justin spoke again.
“Just out of nowhere? He up and left you?”
Which wasn’t the case, of course, Darien had gone out, and gotten drunk, and draped himself all over Lance. He had acted, he realized, like he was single. And that had pissed Noah off.
It was better this way, he assured himself, but those assurances fell completely flat. They didn’t do anything to touch the misery deep in the very center of his being, where it mattered.
Darien didn’t reply, but Justin didn’t seem to expect him to.
“Look, I don’t know what happened, but you need to fix it,” Justin informed him. “I’ve been around my own fair share of happy couples, and way more unhappy ones. Some people are just … made to be together.”
Darien blinked. He wouldn’t have expected Justin to be such a romantic, no matter how beautifully he could write love songs. Justin seemed more alone than anyone else that Darien had ever met. If anything, Darien would have expected a pat on the back from him, congratulations on having dodged a bullet.
“Do you think … Noah and I are like that? Made to be together?” Darien asked, his voice cautious. He still half expected to be mocked. He didn’t know Justin very well, but he certainly wasn’t thinking that he’d get the small smile that he got.
“Yeah. You’re being an idiot. Whatever is going on between you, don’t you think that you should at least try to fix it?” Justin replied, and Darien stared at him, trying to think through the sudden wave of hope which threatened to wash over him and maybe sweep him away completely.
Noah, after all, had broken up with him, not the other way around. It wasn’t up to Darien whether they got back together or not. But he had to admit that he felt like crap ever since Noah had put that distance between them.
He was happier with him than he was alone, and that was what it came down to. Their relationship may have been short, but it had run hot and intense, and it was based off of a long friendship.
As he looked at Justin, as he gazed into his earnest eyes, he had to admit to himself that his words appealed. It would be nice to let himself believe them. Nice to let himself think that there was still hope, that he hadn’t necessarily messed everything up.
Was he ready to commit? To really commit to Noah, above and beyond everything else? The answer to that question was something that he still didn’t quite know, but it was becoming more and more clear to him all the time.
“Just think about it,” Justin told him and took a step back, clearly willing to respect his decision. “But this is love, isn’t it? I mean, if it isn’t, then you can chalk it up to a relationship that just didn’t work out, but if it’s love …” Justin’s eyes darted over to where Ken, Lance, and Aaron were standing, and a softness came into his face, just the corners of his lips and in his eyes, but Darien was sure of what he saw. “If it’s love, don’t you think you should fight for it?”
Well, when it was put that way …
“I’m going to need your help,” Darien told him abruptly. After all, the song, as it had originally been written, was a sweet, sappy love song. He needed something else to express what he felt about Noah.
“Anything,” Justin promised, and Darien grinned at him. Just talking to Justin made him feel like he could take on anything if there was even the slightest chance that he and Noah could make something of this.
“I need your help in rewriting the song.” Darien saw the disappointment in Justin’s eyes, and he shook his head and held up a hand to stop him from saying anything. It was good to know he and Noah had a fan, if nothing else, though. “Not like that. Just trust me.”
Justin searched his face and then nodded slowly.
“Okay. I’ll help,” he agreed, and Darien took a deep breath. What he was going to do was going to change his whole life, potentially. If he did win Noah back, then he was going to have to quit the band, Lester had made that very clear.
Noah was a relationship that Lester would never approve of, and if Darien wanted to stay, he had to follow Lester’s rules. It was a risk, a real risk, but the payoff was worth it.
“There’s not a lot of time,” Darien realized. If they wanted to have the song ready by the next day, they were going to have to work hard all night. Darien was going to have to not only help write it but learn it well enough that he could perform it the very next night.
“You’ve got this,” Justin assured him, and all Darien could do was hope against hope that Justin was right about that.
