SIXTEEN
It was a relief to be able to leave the house, which was so full of Noah that it made Darien’s eyes sting every time he looked around. Every place he saw reminded him of things that he’d done with the other man, how he’d opened himself up enough, just enough, to get thoroughly screwed over when Noah abandoned him.
So to go to rehearsal, it was a very good thing. He could focus on nothing more than getting the dance steps perfect, and hitting every note as he did it. He worked himself until he was pouring sweat, and all of his bandmates were doing the exact same thing, so he fit in perfectly.
Finally, the rehearsal was over, and Darien’s body was glad for it even if his mind would rather that he keep on pushing himself. Better not to think. To be simply physical. But his legs were trembling, and he felt the tickle of his own sweat as it dripped down his spine to the small of his back.
“Okay, guys,” Lester was there, as he was for most of their practices, these days. Each time Darien saw him, he expected the man to bring up the matter of their contracts. Of course, now it was just fine if he did.
It wasn’t like Darien was going to give up any of this now. He felt sick at the very thought and stunned that he had even been willing to consider it. It had all been for Noah, and, well, that hadn’t exactly worked out for him.
The four Lost Boys gathered around Lester,and their eyes fixed on him expectantly. They all knew about the contracts, and they were all waiting, just like Darien was. Not only that, but there was a local concert coming up, and they still hadn’t even finalized their set list.
“I have your new contracts here,” Lester informed them. “Your old ones run out the day after tomorrow. You can look them over with your lawyers.” Lester handed them each a thick sheaf of papers, and Darien took it, his fingers trembling minutely enough that no one else would see. He hoped.
“Anything different about them?” Aaron asked, glancing down at the pages, and Lester gave a bit of a shrug.
“The royalties are going to be a little bit different, but your lawyers will point all of that out. The only other major thing that we need to talk about is the band’s image.”
He had their attention, completely and totally. He tried to play it off as no big deal, but there was a sort of tension in his voice that made Darien, and the rest of the band, a little bit wary.
“Look. Personally, I don’t give a shit who you date,” Lester told them. “But some people have seen you with that computer boy,” Lester was looking at him, he realized, and Darien bit his lower lip uncertainly.
“That … that won’t be a problem anymore,” Darien said, and the words clenched in his heart, in the pit of his stomach, making it hard for him even to draw air into his lungs. “Noah won’t be around me anymore.”
“That’s not even the worst thing. You guys know what this band is. We’re supposed to be appealing to the fans. You guys are pure fan service, okay? Which means you have to seem available.”
What was the guy getting at? He seemed to mostly be looking at Lance, who was gazing defiantly back at him, arms crossed over his broad chest.
“If you want to stay in the band, you can’t be dating people that I haven’t approved,” Lester informed them. “And you definitely can’t be going out with women. Damn it, Lance, what are you thinking?”
Women? Darien turned a curious gaze over at Lance, who had a bit of a smirk on his lips.
“Hey, when we signed up, all you said was that we should be queer. Gay or bisexual.” Lance shrugged. “It’s not my fault if I go both ways, man, and I don’t see how it’s any of your business.”
Lester shook his head, a rueful little smile on his face.
“That’s in the contract now,” he informed them. “You can’t date anyone without my permission for the next year. Like I said, I personally don’t give a crap who you all sleep with, but your image is all you really have. If one of you dates the wrong person …”
Aaron shrugged, and of all of them, he probably looked the least upset about the strange new provision. Was it even legal, Darien wondered, for Lester to do this? Maybe if they signed the contract, but it seemed like a weird thing to ask.
“I don’t care about that,” Aaron informed them. “I’ll sign, as long as my lawyer doesn’t have any objections.”
Of course Aaron, the ice prince himself, didn’t care. Since when had Aaron ever been interested in anyone? Darien sighed softly. Lester hadn’t said anything about random hookups, and that was all that Darien was going to be into. So he had to echo Aaron’s sentiment. What did it matter to him?
“Me too,” Ken echoed Aaron, with a look over at Darien, something that seemed almost betrayed. Or was Darien reading too much into that?
“I’ll sign,” Darien spoke firmly, and he saw all of them turn to him, surprise written all over their faces. Darien supposed that he’d just announced his breakup as clear as anything with that, and he braced himself for the onslaught of questions.
None came. All of the other men looked curious, but maybe they saw from the look on Darien’s face that he wasn’t going to be open to answering them. Regardless, it was a relief. They had all obviously known that he had a thing with Noah, and now, they would know it was over.
Maybe that was enough.
Slowly, everyone’s attention turned to Lance. He was the sticking point, the playboy, the one who was always dating. This would be the most difficult for him since it was asking the most of him.
“I’ll talk to my lawyer,” Lance finally said, and it felt like a surrender. After all, it was only for one year. Surely they could all hold off on falling in love for one year. And for a boy band, well, Lester was right, Darien figured. Their image was everything. Any relationships that they did have should be consistent with that.
It was a nonissue for Darien. The only person he wanted was Noah, and Noah had walked away from Darien just as surely as Darien had left the year before. Maybe Noah was still in the house, but he had removed himself from Darien’s life regardless.
