He quirks his brow at me, as if trying to make me feel stupid. It’s not a stupid question. It’s a real one that deserves a real answer. This isn’t a game. This is my life and everything that comes with me. This is Brett and Brandon and their life. This is the possibility of children, of a life that grows inside me born from his genes. And, most significantly, this is a future that is equal rather than under some bargain we’ve discussed.
I start walking back to him, scowling at Gray as he watches the entertainment. “We haven’t even discussed this. This is more than what you want.”
“What is there to discuss?”
“What?”
“What would you like to discuss, Alice?”
He seems so sure of himself, as if my shock is unwarranted. It isn’t. “This is more, Malachi. This is more than I offered.”
“How is it more?”
My mouth drops open, staggered by his indifference to the situation. “Marriage?”
“Yes. Every minute. Eternally.”
Those words hit home in this moment like nothing else has.
My arms wrap around me, a frown lodged on my face, and I look at the others standing around me. Brandon moves towards me, ready to brace for impact in case this is something I don’t want. Brett follows, which seems to amuse Malachi more than ever.
He chuckles to himself and watches them, then sweeps his gaze to me again.
“Do you need the more charming version of me, Alice?” I don’t know. Charming, non-charming. He’s one in the same to me. A primal stack of male with enough money to turn this world under his leisure. Although, charming might make this a little easier to process rather than me feeling like a forgone conclusion.
I stare, needing questions answered before I give an answer to anything.
Not that I’ve even been fucking asked.
“Children,” I state.
“What about them?”
“I want them.” He frowns. My chin lifts higher. “You see. You haven’t thought this through at all, Malachi. It’s too much more for you.”
He scrutinises me, then tilts his head sideways to Gray. Low words get murmured between them until both Gray and Hannah are off into the church. The darkening stare comes back to me, his feet starting to move at the same time. I refuse to move under the threat of that scowl. I’ve moved, bent, ran and been terrified of men enough. He says he’s fearsome, and I don’t doubt it, but this here is more than that. It’s a precious thing he’s asking for – a precious gift that cannot be demanded.
Brandon moves closer. “You don’t have to, Ally,” he mutters. “I thought you did and that’s why we’re here. We can go now and-“
“Go where?” Malachi cuts in. “I’ll find her.” Brandon fronts straight up, making me grab the back of his coat to stop him. The sneer that radiates from Malachi does not go unnoticed. He glares, then turns that scowl back to me again. “This isn’t a discussion, Alice.”
“Yes, it is,” I snap. “I might love you – Idolove you - but you will answer me honestly before I make a decision. Children. Love. A future that involves equality and joy and, something I doubt you’ve even considered, monogamy. I want that.Needthat. I will not marry you because of a debt I owe.”
Something about his whole aura softens. He even back steps, making room for all of us to breathe. Brandon loosens in my hold, flicking his eyes between me and Malachi in case he needs to fight still. He doesn’t. It’s enough for me to ask both him and Brett to leave, to give us room to talk about this rationally. Rational? I grumble to myself, shaking my head, as they walk away. Here we are on a sidewalk outside a church, having been through what we’ve already been through, after I killed his wife, and I’m asking for rational behaviour?
We’re all fucking freaks.
The eventual quiet of just us two makes me search his eyes, try peering into a soul I know he has so I can find a man I’d want to have children with. He’s all there for me to see, all there for me to love, but I need to hear it. Fuck fearsome. And screw any bargain we’ve made.
His hand reaches forward for my face.
I step away, head shaking again. “Did you ask your first wife like this?”
“No. I did all the things protocol suggested I should. I’m using instinct this time.” He smiles about something and looks around the area, blowing a sigh out from somewhere. “Would you have preferred that? A virginal white dress and an assembly of minions around our feet?”
“Probably not, but-“
“You said it.”
