“So tell me what happened, sweetie.” The nurse, who was old enough to be my great aunt, slid Maddie’s dance slipper from her foot. I watched Maddie wince, still holding the clipboard and pen that the receptionist had given me to complete. I didn’t know any of this.
Maddie took a deep breath, suddenly seeming like she was in less pain. “I’m a pumpkin,” she said matter-of-factly. The nurse looked over Maddie at me for clarification.
“Uh, she’s a ballerina. We’re doing a fall pageant on Thursday night,” I explained, twirling the pen in my fingers while Maddie nodded excitedly. I turned my attention back to the paperwork, completing the section that asked about why we were there. What was the best way to word that we were there because six-year-old dancers are clumsy?I’m a pumpkin.
“Like I said, I’m a pumpkin. I tripped over Becca. She’s one of the bats. Then I fell down. And Becca stepped on me, and it hurt really bad.” She grimaced when the nurse squeezed around her ankle to judge for sensitivity. “That’s Harper. She helped me up and brought me here. She’s my daddy’s friend. They were wrestling in bed earlier. I think she’s going to be my new mommy.”
“Oh really?” The nurse chuckled while Maddie continued to ramble on, but all of her words blurred together. All I heard was one thing.She’s going to be my new mommy.
The room spun around me, and suddenly I felt really hot and like I needed some fresh air. I fanned myself with the clipboard, convincing myself to take slow, deep breaths. “I’m not her mom,” I said when it felt less like the temperature in the room was climbing. “I’m her ballet teacher, and I live next door. Her dad and I are… friends.”
“You don’t have to explain anything to me, honey,” the nurse said, smirking. She had already made up her own mind.She’s going to be my new mommy.The words caused my heart to slam into my chest and skip a beat each time I heard them. When Miles stepped into the room, Maddie’s face lit up, and my heartbeat came to a startling halt.
“Daddy!” Maddie yelled, leaning back on the bed for him.
“What happened?” Miles asked. There was a concern on his face that filled me with guilt I wasn’t responsible for. He looked at me, glancing over my shoulder at Maddie every couple of seconds while the nurse examined her.
I shrugged. “She tripped over a bat and fell down.” My tongue was thick, and nerves clung to my throat. “I tried to call you,” I said.
“Thank you for bringing her in,” Miles said, running his hand down my arm before he turned back to the nurse. “Is it broken?” he asked her.
The nurse started to explain that there was deep bruising and maybe a small sprain, but that nothing was broken. His voice was more relaxed while he started to ask questions, and he didn’t notice when I set the clipboard on the chair. The nurse was entertained by Maddie’s third retelling of the events when I slid out the door. Each step I took came with Maddie’s words.
She’s my daddy’s friend.
They were wrestling in bed earlier.
I think she’s going to be my new mommy.
My stomach sank, and I couldn’t get out of the hospital quickly enough. I’d never wanted kids.
Chapter 19
Miles
“Miles? What are you doing here?” Harper looked out the front door and past me like she was checking if I was alone. I held out the mug I had in one hand and the cookies I had in the other. She looked at them, opening the door wider but not taking them from me.
“I brought you cookies,” I said, offering her the plate again. “And coffee. Maddie helped me make them. Meaning she watched and is taking more than her share of the credit.”
Harper choked back a small laugh but took the plate from me. “Thank you,” she said. There was an awkward tension between us that I couldn’t place my finger on. “You didn’t have to do that.” Then she took the mug, and I felt relieved.
“Of course I did. Maddie was so glad that you were the one to take her to the hospital the other day.” I chuckled but when I put my hand on Harper’s hip, she stiffened, and I swallowed the next laugh. Then I leaned in, eager to feel my lips against the softness of her cheek until she turned her head away. When she took a step back, I frowned. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing!” She was too quick to answer, and the way the plate rattled when she went to set it on the entry table told me it was a lot more than nothing. Harper sighed, closing her eyes to take a deep breath before opening them again. “I think maybe this is just all moving a little too fast.”
I lifted a brow. “Too fast? It’s just cookies.” I wasn’t asking her to marry me.
“It’s not just cookies.” When she looked up at me, there was no playfulness in her face. She lacked the brightness that had been in her eyes when she’d looked at me lately. “I mean us.This.” Harper waved her hand between us. “I think it’s too much.”Maybe I just like you.
What had changed? “Too much? What happened?”
“At the hospital yesterday, Maddie told the nurse she thinks I’m going to be her new mom. Miles.” She put her hand on my forearm in a way that felt like preemptive consolation. “I like you. More than I maybe realized, but I told you. I can’t be a mom. I’d be a terrible mom. I don’t want kids.”
What was she trying to say? “I’m not asking you to be her mom.” I sighed, looking back toward my house. I could seeMaddie’s hair in the window and her nosey reflection trying to catch a glimpse. My stomach sank. “But Maddie is my everything. She’s my whole world. Everything I’ve got is for her.”
“I know.” She sniffled, and her eyes shined with tears that lined up along her bottom eyelid. When she looked at me and the first tear rolled down her cheek, my chest cracked. “And I don’t know that I can be that.”
My breath was pulled from me with each word that constricted my chest tighter. “I understand.” I grabbed Harper’s hand, pulling her to me. I tried to convince myself that it felt wrong with her body against me—that she didn’t feel like she belonged there. Then I kissed the top of her head and let my lips linger, breathing in the scent of her shampoo. “Unfortunately, I can’t be with anyone that doesn’t wholeheartedly want her too.”
