Aunt Sarah had admonished her once for saying she loved Chase more than anything, saying that she was supposed to love God above all. Michelle had scoffed at that.
As the memory wound down and she returned to her spot in Yvonne’s living room, her vision remained blurred. Tears scorched her cheeks, and her shoulders shook with sobs. Her whole body melted into the chair, slumping her over the arm with her face in her elbow. She’d been young and naïve, but not foolish.
Leaving had been good for them. Even at eighteen, she’d realized that her heart wasn’t ready to be fully committed to Chase and the life he wanted.
She’d yearned for more, and the resentment she’d feared well and truly could have torn them apart.
Moving and then losing her memory had not only brought her back home but back to God. She had a better relationship with Him now than she ever had, and it helped ease the broken pieces of her tattered heart into place.
The sliding door squeaked behind her.
Michelle yanked her head up from her arms and blinked her watery eyes. She sniffed and wiped her face. “Sorry.”
Yvonne waved away the apology. “I heard you crying.” Her tiny shrug was part wince, part sympathy. “Sorry if I’m intruding, but I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“Um.” The knot in her throat stopped her from the outright lie she’d been about to utter. She shook her head instead. “Th-hanks. I…I’d like to be alone.”
“You’re never alone.” Yvonne’s soft smile brought a rush of friendship. “God is always right there. He’s got you, and he’s not afraid of tears. He’s not afraid of anything. So, if you can’t talk to anyone else, you talk to him. Shoot. Even when you can talk to someone else, He’s still there for you.”
It was the truth she needed most. God never tired of her.
Yvonne gave her a one-armed hug around the shoulders. “There’s water, tea, and cookies in the kitchen. I’m heading across the street for groceries. Help yourself to whatever you need.”
Words continued to fail her, so she nodded and stood. Better to cry in the kitchen away from the front windows. She might scare off Yvonne’s next customers.
“I didn’t mean you had to move.” Yvonne hopped into place beside her.
“Water.” She patted her throat. The short but intense crying jag had left her throat dry and her face swollen. “Ice cream?” She craved the soothing comfort of her favorite pistachio.
“In the freezer. I picked up a gallon after your trip to the shop.” Her short bob fanned around her face when she pushed open the sliding door and guided Michelle through. “You were so excited to learn your favorite that I thought it would be a fun surprise.” She wiggled her fingers in front of her face, making that ‘Ta-da’ motion that had become her signature. “Surprise.”
A snort of laughter took Michelle by surprise. She sank onto a stool and cupped her head in her palms. The throbbing ache intensified, another burst of memories dashing through too fast for her to catch.
She’d worry about them later. All that mattered in this exact moment was soothing the raw ache in her throat and figuring out what to do next.
An hour later, she’d eaten her ice cream, drank two full glasses of water, washed her face, and made the drive over to Aunt Sarah’s apartment complex. Her neighbors greeted Michelle with waves and grins, and she didn’t have the heart to keep her frown when they were so obviously delighted.
Aunt Sarah opened the door as she raised her hand to knock. “Saw you pull in.” She motioned at the windows pointed toward the parking lot and Michelle’s little rental car.
She’d have to decide soon about the car. The month-by-month rental had been nice, but if she stayed in Blue River, she’d need a permanent solution.
“What’s made that face show up?” Aunt Sarah took her by the hand and tugged her into the living room.
Michelle eyed the soft couch with its abundance of throw pillows. “You want to get out of here for a while?”
“Sure.” Aunt Sarah snatched up a tattered denim purse and slung it over her shoulder. Her overalls blended in with the blue shirt, and she’d even swept her hair back with a matching blue headband. She caught Michelle looking and patted her hair. “It’s washing day.”
As if that explained everything, she strolled past Michelle, waved at her neighbors, and hurried toward the glass door.
Michelle tagged along after shutting the apartment door. The sunshine hit her full force. She squinted, her eyes still aching from her recent crying. “Where do you want to go?”
“Anywhere you want.” Sarah dropped into the passenger seat and yelped. “Better hurry up, though. These seats are hotter than a saddle in summer.”
Leather tended to do that. Her legs burned with a phantom memory of slinging a leg over the back of a horse in the middle of a summer heatwave.
She’d ridden with Chase to the creek, and they’d taken the horses swimming. The lump formed in her throat. Would every memory of them threaten to break her like this?
“There’s that look again.” Sarah clicked her tongue against her teeth. “Did you remember something, or has something happened?”
