Joy on their graduation day, the few seconds she’d stood beside Chase, and they’d thrown their caps in the air.
Love when she sat with him in his truck and stared up at the midnight sky sprinkled with stars.
A riot of feelings when they rode side by side across the ranch, racing each other and laughing with the wind tearing through her hair.
It wasn’t her whole life, but it was enough to prove she’d been happy here.
Her life in the city had color and sensation, but little emotion, especially toward the end.
She remembered late nights of confusion and wondering what she was doing with her life.
And she remembered the freedom she’d felt when she first arrived in the city with all the noise and mayhem. She’d loved it then. Every sight had been a distraction and a wonder.
Her vision blurred, Blue River turning dull as a new memory tugged free.
Chase stood in front of her at the old, graffiti bench. He looked worried, his face tight and hair wild like he’d been running his hand through it repeatedly. And his eyes. They stretched wide and wild. He searched her face and squeezed her hands. “It’s a chance for us to finally have the life we’ve talked about.”
Her stomach pitched and rolled harder than a ship in a storm-tossed sea. “Our life?”
“You and me.” He smiled, and it was enough to break her heart.
She took a step away from him, until she reached the end of his reach and their arms stretched taut between them. “What are you saying, Chase?”
He dropped to a knee, releasing one of her hands—her right one—and holding the other up while digging into his pocket. “Will you marry me?”
Her throat locked. She’d expected this at some point, but not here, nottoday, the day she planned to say goodbye. “Cha—” His name soured in her mouth. She tried again. “Chase.”
Expectation brimmed in his eyes. He inched the ring toward her finger. “We belong together. We love each other. We always have. I want to marry you, Michelle.”
“Please, stop.” How did she do it? How did she break his heart, and hers? “I asked you to come here because I need to talk to you.” She moved to the bench and sat, tugging his hand so he followed.
Darkness invaded the space between them, bringing fear and uncertainty to every word. She knew it was for the best. Theywere too young for marriage. He was her first love, her first boyfriend, first everything.
What if he was the first but he wasn’t meant to be her only? That doubt was what drove her to push the terrible words out into the void. “I’m leaving Blue River.”
His smile had already started to fade, and it fell completely at the harshness of her cold announcement. “Leaving?”
A nod was all she could manage for a few seconds as she battled the terrible loss ripping out her heart. She’d made up her mind. She wanted to see the world beyond Blue River. Her life here had always been predictable. Beautiful and charming, but utterly predictable.
The roar in her ears blotted out all the other sounds she found familiar in their spot. No singing birds or rustling trees. No hum of traffic in the distance or laughter from the park. Her breaking heart whooshed through every nerve.
“Why?” His lips moved around the word.
She recognized it, even if her ears stopped hearing. A quick headshake dislodged the uncomfortable feeling of being inside a barrel bobbing underwater. “I want to move to the city.”
“Since when?”
Since she saw her first play in middle school that had big skyscrapers in the background. Even then, she’d been fascinated with the idea of city life. Aunt Sarah didn’t scoff at her, but she listened to Michelle talk while wearing that thin smile that meant she might not approve.
Then she’d fallen in love with Chase. For a while, she’d considered staying.
Marrying him and living here would be interesting. For a while.
But worry nagged at the back of her mind. What if she resented him someday for keeping her from her dreams? It wasn’t a fair argument since she’d never even fully told him shewanted to leave. She’d harbored it close to her heart, keeping it a secret.
For what?
Because now she’d broken both their hearts. “It’s something I have to do.” Telling him she’d always wanted to leave made her sound like a liar. Or worse, like she’d never loved him at all. “I love you, Chase. I’ve never loved anyone this much, but I have to go.”
