“Matthew—”
He turned away, taking advantage of the starting music to dart behind a couple as they moved through the first steps of the dance. Matthew caught sight of Lady Tabitha. Some of the colour had faded from her face, but her eyes were still wide and startled. He moved past her, forcing his way through the crowd and offering only curt nods to the guests who vied for his attention.
It was a chorus of Your Grace’s as he swept through the ballroom. He reached the foyer and turned, heading towards the gardens. Matthew threw open the doors with far more force than was necessary and stormed into the gardens, drawing in deep breaths of the night air. The scent of flowers and the recent rain filled his nostrils. Rosemary had loved it here.
“Still loves it here,” he said fiercely.
Matthew set a brisk pace along the pathway, framed by sweeping grass and brightly coloured flowers. He slowed once he could no longer hear the music and laughter from the party. All was quiet, save for the wind whispering and the frogs croaking. Matthew sank onto a nearby bench and sighed.
Miriam had not wanted to hurt him. When he saw her hesitate, he should not have encouraged her to speak, especially not after she suggested that he try to be happily married to Lady Tabitha. He was not supposed to be happy with her. He was not even supposed to like the young lady, and perhaps he did not really like her. Not really.
But he was not supposed to enjoy the prospect of taking that lovely young woman to bed. He had a duty to produce an heir, but that did not mean he ought to enjoy the deed or even anticipate fulfilling such a task. But he thought about what Lady Tabitha had said. He imagined them together in a darkened parlour, her slight form pressed against his.
Matthew thought of pressing his manhood against the small of her back and kneading her full breasts beneath his hands as the young lady moaned. He imagined her body becoming soft and pliant against him, her eyes wide as he hitched up the skirts of her gown and showed her all the pleasures that might be obtained in a darkened parlour.
Matthew scowled, aware of his manhood twitching with interest and straining against the fabric of his clothing. He tried to tell himself that it meant nothing. Any man who had denied himself female companionship for twelve years would react like him. There was nothing shameful in it, yet he could not make himself believe that for even an instant. He felt as if he were committing the profoundest betrayal just by enjoying the prospect of a wedding night with Lady Tabitha.
Matthew lowered a hand, tempted to stroke himself, but he did not. He clenched his jaw. He need only have a dalliance with Lady Tabitha on the wedding night. If he were fortunate, she would produce a suitable heir, and he would not need to touch her ever again.
God, he hoped they managed it the first time. Otherwise, that young chit might just drive him mad.
Chapter 5
Tabitha could think of nothing she would rather do less than speak alone with the Duke of Hillsburgh. After his strange reaction to her confession, Tabitha had watched His Grace speak to his sister and then retreat somewhere for a very long time.
She had not anticipated his return, or worse, she thought he might return and reveal her secret, what he knew of it, to everyone. Instead, he had reappeared and announced their engagement precisely as planned.
She had smiled at his declaration that they were engaged and had accepted all the congratulations of the ton. Now, the next day, she was to meet him at a tearoom. It was expected that she would spend some time with her betrothed. Even as Tabitha entered the room, she felt sick and wondered if she could feign a violent onset of illness well enough for him to believe that she ought to return home.
His Grace was already present, and he rose when she entered. “Lady Tabitha,” he said, bowing.
She curtsied. “Your Grace.”
The Duke of Hillsburgh pulled out her chair so she could sit. Tabitha carefully folded her hands in her lap, resisting, as usual, the impulse to fidget. His Grace sat across from her. At once, a change seemed to come over him. The polite façade of the gentleman who had greeted her and pulled out her chair was gone in an instant, replaced with a stone-faced man and a sharp, intense gaze.
“I will not waste your time with pretty words,” His Grace said, “since neither of us have any illusions about what our marriage is supposed to constitute.”
“I see.”
The Duke of Hillsburgh smiled thinly. “I am pleased to see that you are agreeable. I want a wife for my family.”
“I think that was established when you agreed to marry me.”
As she spoke, Tabitha felt a sharp spark of regret. It was likely not the best idea to provoke the man. She needed him to marry her, and she could not afford to offend him. Otherwise, he might very well change his mind.
His Grace leaned forward, narrowing his eyes. “And I want, above all else, a woman to provide the dukedom with an heir. I trust that will not be a problem?”
Tabitha stared at him, feeling unbalanced at the blunt delivery of that question. She shivered, her mind full of half-formed thoughts of what bearing a child would entail. Tabitha did not know all the details of what happened between a man and a woman to produce offspring, but she knew a sketch of what was supposed to happen. It had occurred to her that night with Cassius in the parlour, and during the dance of their engagement ball, she had felt those same feelings coursing through her.
It was expected that a duchess would produce an heir for her husband. Had she not thought of the prospect of being married to him in terms of herself being a farm animal auctioned to the highest bidder? There was no reason to be surprised by his bold declaration, yet she found it hurt to hear him confirm her own thoughts. She was nothing but a means for him to produce a healthy son.
“Of course, it will not be,” she said coolly. “At least, I will have no problem bearing an heir.”
Tabitha knew that was the furthest thing from a lady-like response, but hot fury boiled in her veins. He had the gall to smirk as though he found her endlessly amusing.
“I can assure you that I will have no problems,” he said. “I wish to have a child as quickly as possible, and after you deliver my heir to me, you may do whatever you wish, provided that it does not bring shame to the title or my reputation.”
This man was certainly as far as any could be from Cassius. Tabitha felt an uncomfortable twinge of longing for Cassius’s honeyed words. Even if he had betrayed her, she could not help thinking about the kind compliments and attention he paid her.
