“Rather than insisting on both of you having a loveless marriage, you should be making efforts to gain her affection,” Miriam said. “I know that it is not a love match, but sometimes, there is still happiness in an arranged marriage. You deserve to find love.”
“I had love.”
“You may yet find it again,” Miriam said, her voice suggesting that she was choosing her words with the utmost care. “You are allowed to find love more than once in a lifetime, you know. It is not as if there is a limit.”
“With her?” he scoffed. “What do you expect that I would even have in common with a chit of twenty years?”
Miriam crossed her arms. “Do you even intend to marry her, or have you decided against it now that you have embarrassed her so thoroughly?”
“Of course, I will marry her. It is not as if I have any choice in the matter,” Matthew said. “The dukedom needs an heir, and I do not appear to have one. She is young and from a decent family. She can give me the child I need, which will ease our mother’s mind. You know that she has become insufferable in the recent years.”
“You do not mean that.”
“I do.”
He really did not. While his mother had become increasingly insistent on his producing an heir in recent years, Matthew did not really begrudge her for being concerned. The dukedom needed an heir, meaning he needed a duchess with whom to produce one. As much as he wanted to insist that his mother did not understand him or the depth of his grief, he knew that she did.
It was only that her fortitude was so great. When faced with adversity, his mother always did what needed to be done. Matthew wished he could be the same, but beneath his cold exterior, he was a sentimental man. A nostalgic man whose thoughts always brought him back to the past.
“Oh, Matthew,” his sister murmured. “My dear brother.”
Her face softened, and she placed a comforting hand on his arm. Matthew forced a smile for her and squeezed her hand, tracing his thumb in small circles over her gloved hand. “Do not worry about me. I will be content with my loveless marriage. I am eight-and-thirty years, after all. It is not as if I am young and unaware of what I am doing.”
“I do not want you to be a martyr, sacrificing your happiness for the dukedom,” she murmured.
“Sometimes, you must make sacrifices for the greater good,” he said. “Our tenants deserve an uninterrupted succession and a strong heir to care for them once I am gone. I have a duty to give them that.”
“But would it not be better if you could give them that with someone you love?” Miriam asked gently. “Maybe it is impossible, but I think it would be wise to, at least, try to befriend Lady Tabitha. You might grow to love one another. Such things are not, after all, unheard of.”
“She has already decided that she does not love me, and she seems to have no illusions of me ever trying to love her,” Matthew replied. “I see no useful reason to change the state of things.”
Miriam opened her mouth like she wanted to say something, but she seemed to think better of it and closed her mouth without uttering a word.
“What?” Matthew asked wearily. “I know you well enough to realize that you are judging me and holding your tongue because you fear that what you say will displease me.”
“Then, why should I say it?”
“Because you want to,” Matthew said. “I have always enjoyed your candour, even when it was not always kind.”
“Rosemary would not want this loveless marriage for you,” Miriam said. “She would want you to find love again and be happy.”
“You speak like she is gone,” Matthew said, clenching his jaw. “She is not.”
He deliberately turned his head so he would not have to see that doubtful expression on her face. Even without looking at her, though, he felt her judgement. It had been twelve years, and like their mother, Miriam believed it was time for him to heal and look to the future.
“She would not want me to give up on her,” Matthew argued. “She would want me to remain constant and faithful. She does want that for me.”
Miriam sighed. “I know that she would want you to be happy, and you have not been happy for many years. That is the best way to honour her.”
Matthew shook his head. “You know nothing about Rosemary or what she would want.”
“You do not mean that. You are speaking so coldly to me because you are hurt, but deep down, I think you know that I am right.”
He drew his arm away from her grasp and glared reproachfully at her. “I should not have encouraged you,” he said. “You were right to hesitate.”
“Think about what I have said.”
Matthew shook his head. “There is no purpose to that. Excuse me, Sister. I need some air.”
