“It wasn’t like that, Darcy. It was never serious, it’s over with her. Please. You know how I am. I just?—”
“You what?” I interrupt, getting angry all over again. “What could you possibly say to justify what you did?”
“Dammit, Darcy!” he explodes. “I messed up! I know that! I messed up as badly as a personcanpossibly mess up, but I love you! I love you more than anything! Please just give me a chance to fix it!”
I stare at Milo, a broken, sad man whose lies have become so pungent that even he is beginning to believe them. And I think that might be even more dangerous than his former state of weaponized incompetence.
“No,” I say simply. “It’s done. We’re over. And if you won’t leave, that’s fine. I will.”
With shaking hands, I grab my coat from the coat rack and slip on my shoes, pulling the door shut behind me and walking right past Milo without so much as sparing him a second glance.I can hear him trailing closely behind me, but I pointedly ignore him. If he doesn’t exist to me, maybe he’ll finally go away.
But I guess I’m just not that lucky.
“Darcy, stop!” he calls after me. “Please, just talk to me about this! We can fix it!”
I don’t dignify that with a response. I pick up my pace, bypassing the elevators in a split-second reasoning that maybe I can get away quicker on the stairs. I speed walk to the stairwell and take the steps two at a time. He’s right behind me, begging me to stop. For every step I take, he’s taking two.
“For God’s sake, Darcy, just stop!” he yells, his booming voice echoing in the stairwell. I’m sure half of the hotel can hear him. How humiliating.
“I don’t want to talk to you!” I yell back. “I don’t want to see you. I don’t even want to breathe the sameairas you, Milo. Go away!”
He doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t stop chasing after me either.
I slam through the first-floor door and speed walk through the lobby with Milo hot on my trail. I can feel dozens of eyes on me, but I can’t bring myself to care. I just need to get away from Milo.
I know what my only option is, and I also know that it’s going to suck. Majorly. But I have to do what I have to do.
So, the snow it is.
I leave the hotel and hurry into the freshly fallen snow. Luckily, it isn’t actively snowing anymore, at least for the moment, but it’s breathtakingly cold, and I can feel my extremities immediately begin to go numb.
Just get away from him. Escape. Don’t let him catch you.
The thought of Milo’s hands on me fuels my desire to escape. I charge forward and use all of my strength to run. I run and Irun and I run. By the time I stop, I can’t see anyone around me, and my lungs ache as I gasp for air.
And when I turn around, Milo is gone.
I got away.
Now my only issue is that I have no idea where I am.
How do I get into these situations?
CHAPTER 22
CODY
Idon’t make it back until well after the sun has risen. I never slept. I don’t think I could even if I tried. My brain is snapping from thought to thought faster than I can process them, and none of the thoughts are good. It’s as though a parasite has taken hold of my heart and won’t let go. It’s squeezing and shaking and pulling my heart to pieces. I feel sick, but not the kind of sick that goes away with time. It’s the kind of sick that settles into your bones and doesn’t let up, the kind that completely changes your life. It’s the kind that makes you afraid that you’ll feel this way forever.
I can’t bring myself to go back to my room. All I’ll be able to see are my mistakes, surrounding me and suffocating me. So, I sit in the lobby and I stare at my hands that are still stained with my sister’s blood.
Last night feels like a horrible dream. I can’t believe that it really happened. I can’t believeanythingthis week actually happened. It’s been a horror show, and it’s only getting worse as the days go on.
Every choice I make is a mistake. I’m hurting people. I’m hurting the people that I love. Darcy and Maya are arguably the only two people who give even half a shit about me, andI’ve severed any positive connection to them. All for the sake of selfishness.
I hate myself. I really, really hate myself.
And I can’t fix it. Not this time.
