It’s not the save I hoped it would be.
Her mouth gapes, like I’ve rendered her speechless which I am pretty sure is a hard thing to do. She’s such a puzzle to me, a seemingly open book but somehow I feel like there’s something about her that I’m missing.
I want to know everything there is to know about her.
“There’s nothing bigger or better than this one.” She brushes Sienna’s sparse hair back. “And I don’t want to think about that right now.”
That makes two of us. Perhaps I’ll just keep my stupid fucking mouth shut now.
We walk in silence toward the first house, but as the elderly woman who lives there fills Sienna’s pumpkin bucket with an excessive amount of candy, Quinn leans in close to me and finally speaks again.
She’s standing on a step above me, putting her more on my level than she normally is. Her breath still smells like the cinnamon latte she had on the way here, and her mouth’s proximity to my face nearly undoes me. “I hope you know you’re enough for her.”
I’m unprepared to hear those words, but I know she must be saying this because I used the M-word. I press my lips together in a fine line and nod once.
I think most days I do know, but there will always be a part of me that is sad for what Sienna has missed out on that I can’t replace.
“I didn’t have either of my parents growing up,” she admits after we’ve said our thanks and begun to walk away. “But my aunt was enough.”
I have always suspected what kind of man her father was. I think most people in Hallow do to some extent, but I never imagined that she wasn’t even raised by her parents. Something in my gut tells me their abandonment of her isn’t something she shares with many people.
Most everyone assumes their relationship was something more than what it apparently was. Hallow is a small town. People talk—more than they should and most of the time they don’t have a fucking clue about what they’re saying.
“Do you see her much now?” I touch the tip of Sienna’s nose and for the first time since Quinn has been in the picture, she reaches for me to take her instead.
Quinn doesn’t hesitate. She folds down the wrap and slides her out, and Sienna all but leaps into my arms as she releases a string ofda da da dasthat make my heart feel like it mightexplode. “I did until recently. She’s older and hasn’t been well for a few years now. We still speak on the phone often, but her son thought it would be best for her to be closer to him. I can’t say I disagree, but it sucks not having her nearby. He’s several years older than I am and not as wrapped up with school or work. His job is fully remote, so he can be there for her in ways that I’m not able to be. I hope to visit over Christmas break.”
The thought of her spending Christmas or any holiday anywhere that isn’t with us doesn’t sit well with me, which is a ridiculous notion because she has her own life. I have to remind myself that this is just her job.
But that’s the thing, isn’t it? The way she is with Sienna. It’snotjust a job for her.
“Anyway. I do kind of hold a grudge against my parents that I’m sure I’ll heal from someday, but I grew up loved and cared for even if my home situation was unconventional. I’m thankful that my aunt wanted me when no one else did. If I could go back and choose, I would have still chosen her.”
The words hang heavy in the air, and as Sienna rests her head at the base of my throat I find myself hoping like hell that someday she’ll be able to say the same for me.
The rest of the evening blurs by, and before I know it, Sienna’s bucket is filled to the brim.
On the ride home, my chest still feels tense with lingering emotions from the unexpectedly deep conversation between Quinn and me. I grip the steering wheel a little tighter in an attempt to ground myself.
We’re barely a mile from home, but Sienna is asleep before we even pull up the drive. Thankfully, her costume is too thick to be worn safely in her car seat, so she’s already in a fresh diaper and onesie when Quinn carefully transitions her from the car to her crib.
I'm anxious for her to come back down. I want a few moments alone with her before Ezra and Stu interrupt us, which is a funny thought because we’ve had this annual Halloween thing for years and really she should be considered the party crasher except she is not that at all. I want her wherever I am at all times. I haven’t mentioned to her that I am having guests over,orthat I want her to stay.
With every fiber of my being I want to do something that crosses that line of professionalism, just to test the waters and see how she reacts. I just can’t figure out how to bring it up without making things weird.
But I’ll beg if I have to.
Unfortunately, I don't get the opportunity. The incessant ringing of my doorbell tells me Stu has arrived first.
14
FUCKING COZY
QUINN
Sienna’s eyespopped open for a split second when the doorbell started ringing, but she quickly drifted back off when it stopped.
I assumed it was a late trick-or-treater, continuously pressing the doorbell in hopes of snagging some last minute candy or pranking the spooky house on the corner. But when I head downstairs a few minutes later, I hear Jack's stern daddy voice, scolding his friend for being so loud when he knew the baby was already asleep.
