“You don’t look fine… and you forget, I had to listen to you wail down the line from across the pond. Hence, I’m here a day early,” he remarked.
“God, I’m sorry, poor Mya and the kids,” I mumbled, feeling embarrassed that I’d inconvenienced them.
“It’s fine. Mya has Maria with her, she’s dealing with the little ones,” Jack insisted of the children’s nanny.
“I spoke to Alfie last night,” Jack confessed.
My heart stuttered and I stared silently, waiting for Jack to say more.
“How was he?” I asked when he didn’t expand.
“In a shitty mood that’s for sure. Belligerent and argumentative… he told me to mind my own business… that you were his,” he said through a chuckle. “The irony, eh, leaves you and thinks you’re his possession at the same time.”
Closing my eyes, I lowered my head while I digested what Jack had said.
“Oh, come on, Lily. Do you think that man can stay away from you for long? You’re like air to him. If you ask me, he needs a boot up his arse for behaving how he has. He should at leasthave been a man and stayed to argue his point… which was what—that you should drop everything and take time out with him?”
“I didn’t ask your opinion. I called for your support.” I stared at Jack, annoyed with myself for snapping at him when he’d come straight away to do just that.
“Then how do you want to handle this situation?” he asked.
“I think we’re broken, and I don’t know how to fix us,” I admitted, my lower lip quivered as I wiped my nose with a tissue. “Things haven’t been…” I trailed off with a helpless shrug, waving my hand with the tissue still in it, because I had no clue how to explain about all those petty arguments that had been happening for a while now. Arguments that had gone unresolved, which had resulted in Alfie leaving me.
Even with hindsight, when I’d tried to reflect upon the moment our relationship changed, I struggled to define a specific timeframe for that.
“Okay, I’m not you. And I can’t tell you how to feel, but I know you, likely better than you know yourself. If I tell you what I really think, you might hate me for a while. But… I think I can give you honest, constructive feedback.”
Jack had been like my big brother and had never given me bad advice. He’d been there since I was a baby, and we had the closest, if not always agreeable, relationship. Although, he had always been my voice of reason in a crisis.
“Yes, of course I want you to tell me,” I ground out, sounding as desperate as I felt.
“You’re too driven for your own good,” he muttered flatly.
“Pardon? Are you saying I shouldn’t have my own career because I have a husband?”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying. To put it bluntly, most times it appears as if you think yours is the only music career that matters.”
“Do you know how hard it is for a female to make it in the music industry?”
“Absolutely, I write about it all the time,” he responded.
I couldn’t argue with that because as a music reporter, my friend Jack Cunningham had made a reputation for himself by challenging how certain sectors of the music industry were marginalized by their gender. He was an amazing advocate for female musicians everywhere.
“I’m sorry,” I said, slapping my hands on my knees and standing. “Coffee?”
“Tea,” he replied, standing and following me into the kitchen. “Do you want me to tell you how I would handle this?”
I nodded, desperate for advice as I began making us tea.
“I’d give Alfie his space, although not only for his sake, but for yours. To be frank, Alfie’s a pain in my arse, but I love him like a brother now. Since you’ve been married the guy hasn’t put a foot wrong… well maybe he has, since this is where you’re both at in your marriage.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’ve never had to work at your marriage.” Jack sighed and clasped his hands behind his head. “He always puts you first… before everything else.”
“That’s not true, he’s on the road for months sometimes,” I blurted, feeling indignant at that assumption.
“And that response tells me you can’t even begin to consider that Alfie may have a point about needing more from you at this time in his life.”
