I sometimes wondered what would have happened if I’d confessed my feelings to Clay earlier? What would have happened if we’d started dating before they had?
I wished nothing but happiness for mylao-ba, and I really liked Sandra. They were good for each other. But that didn’t mean I could just stop the bitterness from seeping in.
What if we’d gotten together before them?
Thankfully, painting over stencils was a pretty mindless task because the thoughts continued to swirl in my mind.
My friends were joking around and ribbing Jones about possibly getting hitched soon—which he seemed very open to the idea—but my heart wasn’t really in the conversation.
“You okay? You’re awfully quiet,” Ryker said,coming to my side. Jones was at the other side of the room with Clay, chatting about painting.
“Yeah. The fumes are probably getting to me,” I replied and forced a smile.
None of my friends knew about my crush on Clay. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust them, but a secret like this felt safer never being voiced in the first place. I wouldn’t have even told Frederick if he hadn’t guessed and figured it out for himself.
Ryker studied me, probably considering his words. He frowned but didn’t try to pry information out of me, for which I was grateful.
“I’m here if you want to talk about it. We all are,” he said, patting my shoulder.
I thanked him, knowing that he meant his words. Any one of my friends would be there for me in a heartbeat if I asked—and I would do the same for them—but this was something nobody else could help me fix. Issues of the heart were often like that.
Once we’d finished painting the room, Jones and Ryker headed out front to work on Karla’s new bed. I desperately needed some fresh air. I tugged off my shirt and shorts and rounded Jones’ cabin for a soak in his hot tub.
I closed my eyes as soon as I took a seat and let the hot water loosen my tense muscles. I didn’t even have to look to know that Clay followed me. Not even a few seconds later, I heard the splash of water before a large body settled beside me.
Peeking an eye open, Clay was unsurprisingly watching me. He’d had a habit of watching me ever since we were young. It was one of the reasons I thought he might have been interested in me, too.
I was obviously wrong on that count, considering how happy he was at the news of our parents getting married and of us becoming stepbrothers.
“Why are you staring at me?” I asked him.
He chuckled, probably because I’d asked the same question every time I caught him watching me.
Clay didn’t look the least bit ashamed as he ignored my question and slid closer to my side. His arm wrapped around my shoulder, and I let him scoop me into his side.
Did I know what the heck I was doing? Not a single clue. But I did know that I shouldn’t be doingthis.
I should be keeping my distance, like I’d promised myself I would. I was finally going to get over my feelings for Clay Segall.
Promises, promises.
The plan was hopeless. He was all I could think about, even while on my date last night.
He’d do things like cuddling up to me or following me to a club and forcing me to dance with him. My mind was unwilling to be dragged at his pace, but my body was weak. It craved Clay. His scent, his closeness,justhim.
So, despite knowing I was only making things more difficult for myself, I fell into his armsand rested my head against his shoulder. Clay laid a soft kiss on my hair that tickled my insides.
I hated how he was able to sway my emotions with just a simple action.
“How are things going with Frederick and the guy from the club?” Clay asked.
“They’re supposed to meet up today,” I told him. “I’m surprised Frederick is seeing him again. He was so sure he wasn’t going to find anyone at the club.”
“I hope they end up dating. Then you’ll have more time for me again,” Clay muttered.
I stiffened in his hold, not daring to look at him. I knew he was watching me again.
Sometimes, I wondered if he realized how his words could be taken. Clay had always been possessive of my friendship, and I’d enabled him because I liked seeing him jealous, but now I realized I was just setting myself up for failure.
