1
Tess
January in Florida is absolutely wonderful until a haunted crystal ball shows up in your pawnshop.
Sheriff Susan Gonzalez and I stared down at the glittering sphere.
It stared back at us.
All three of us stayed silent.
“So.” I looked up at Susan. “You said it was … haunted?”
My raised eyebrow was implied.
“Yeah. Madame Leota vibes, for sure.”
She was right. This had a Disney Haunted Mansion feel all over it. Sadly, I hadn’t been to any theme parks since I’d come into my “gift” as a teenager. It’s not the happiest place on earth when you might bump into somebody and see how they’re going to die.
All that aside, it wasn’t that I didn’t believe Susan. I’d taken in too many magical items via pawn and just outright bought too many others to disbelieve any tales of a magically infused object.
But, according to her, this wasn’t just a haunted crystal ball.
“It’s an …Eeyoreball?”
She sighed. “I know. It sounds ridiculous. But it’s an Eeyore ball, according to everybody I know in the psychic business. My grandfather left it to me. I tried to give it away, but nobody would take it. Not even anybody from the Phleabottom side of the family. Trust me, they actually tried to take the wooden paneling off the walls of my grandfather’s house until I threatened to shoot Aunt Cordelia, so it’s not that they aren’t greedy enough to take a very valuable antique like this one.”
“Your aunt’s name is Cordelia Fleabottom?”
“With a P H.Phleabottom.”
“Oh.” I bit my lip against the laugh trying to escape. “That makes it so much better. Also, don’t you feel lucky to be Susan Gonzalez?”
She grinned at me. “You have no idea. Sometime over drinks, I’ll fill you in on the varied and spectacular family tree that resulted in me and Carlos.”
“Carlos is another good name. I mean, he could have been . . . “ I couldn’t help it. I burst out laughing. “He—he could have been—oh, wow, this is killing me. He could have beenCarlos Phleabottom, the vampire!”
Susan gave me a flat look, but her lips quirked. It was the first sign of animation I’d seen in her since she’d returned from her mysterious errand over Christmas. Not so mysterious, it turned out. She’d been settling her grandfather’s estate.
Susan was everything our previous sheriff hadn’t been: calm, competent, and extremely intelligent. She was also gorgeous. Criminals who underestimated her because of her silky black hair, deep brown eyes, and curvy figure soon learned, to their dismay, just how wrong they’d been. Usually from inside a jail cell.
“I’m sorry, again, for your loss,” I said, my laughter fading. “I didn’t mean to joke when—”
“Trust me, Tess, it’s nice to have something to smile about. My extended family is … well. Let’s just say they’re difficult. In the extreme. Aunt Cordelia wasn’t the only one I wanted to shoot.”
I ran a finger over the crystal ball’s beautifully carved cherry-wood antique base and then blinked when a thought occurred. “Are you even allowed to shoot people in Ohio? Your jurisdiction—”
She threw up her hands. “Of course not. But it’s not like they wouldn’t have deserved it. I also caught Cousin Aloysius in the library stuffing silver candlesticks and knick-knacks into a massive tote bag. You’d think somebody who’d only gotten out of jail three days before would have been more careful.”
“Which one just got out of jail?” I might need to take notes to keep track of her felonious relatives. “Also, Cousin Aloysius in the library with a candlestick sounds like a bizarre game of Clue.”
“Right? Aloysius is the felon. He claims he was innocent, and nobody knows what happened to the rhubarb. The llama wasn’t talking, of course.”
“Of course,” I said faintly.
“Aunt Cordelia got out of prison the year before last, I think. Not really sure. After the third or fourth time, it all blurs together.”
I couldn’t think of a way to respond to that, so I settled on ignoring it. “I need more coffee.” I smiled at my friend. “You?”
