Returning here reminds me of all the beautiful things I miss most, like my Nan, the ocean, and my sister. But it also strips me of all the stability I’ve worked for.
She is right, I’m not being me.
I’m a positive person, annoyingly so. Always searching for silver linings, always ready with a pep talk. I schedule my fun so I never miss it. Always in control, that’s how I stay safe.
That’s how I’ve built a successful life.
I stepped onto that campus ten years ago with a shattered heart, but I made a choice to let it build me rather than bury me.
So I decided to become sunshine.
Even when it was hard. Even when I wanted to crawl back home and disappear.
I stayed in control.
Another bell chimes over the door of Audrey’s bakery. “I’m so sorry, babe—someone just came to pick up their cake,” Audrey says. “Text me, okay? You’re going to be fine. You’rePenelope Hanson. Literal boss bitch.”
“I love you. Thanks, Aud.”
“Love you, too. And seriously—send me a pic of your tattooed ex.”
“Never,” I say, and we hang up.
The last thing on my mind, the last thing I would ever do, is let Jesse back into my life.
Fia may think she knows what’s best, but I’ve got two weeks to convince her otherwise and fix this mess.
Audrey is right, I’m Penny Hanson. Literal boss bitch.
Five minutes later, and roughly a half mile from the house, I stop at the edge of Magnolia Street Park. The swings are no longer the jagged sun-faded rubber I remember, and the mulch is replaced with an expensive looking rubber flooring.
I gaze across the park toward the magnolia trees lining the back fence. My chest eases just a fraction when I spot it.
The bench.
It’s still there, worn and weathered.
A mom pushes her toddler on a swing nearby, but she doesn’t look up as I cross the brittle, winter-dead grass. I keep my eyes on the bench like it might disappear if I blink.
When I reach it, I sit slowly, cautiously, not wanting to draw attention to myself.
The moment I settle, a weight presses into my chest and floods down my legs, anchoring me to the old wood slats like the benchknowsme.
I drag my fingertip along the board beneath me, tracing until I find it.
J + P
Jesse and Penny…it’s etched deep.
Deep enough to outlast ten years.
Deep enough to outlastus.
6
Penny
THEN
