“You’re kidding me.”
I shake my head, still in disbelief that those words left my mouth.
Audrey knows about Jesse in the generic high school ex-boyfriend kind of way. I kept it light, like it was just teenage drama, because that’s all I could handle. She doesn’t know Jesse is stitched into the fabric of my past in a way no one else understands.
It’s a secret I was ready to take to the grave.
But him walking through that back door changes everything.
“Oh no, Jesse’s not the father, is he?” she whispers.
I gag, lurching forward. “Oh god no! No. No. He’s like a big brother to Fia. She trusts him for some stupid reason, and he needed a place to live. It’s karma, huh?”
“Okay… So, how did it feel when you saw him?”
My eyebrows knit together, and I scoff, watching cars fly past.
“I wanted to choke his tattooed neck,” I respond bluntly.
“Wait, I’m confused. I thought you were into that?”
I laugh, despite myself. “Audrey, what the hell! He’s my ex…whatever… It was so long ago. I don’t trust his intentions. I don’t know why he’s back.”
After all this time. Why did it take him ten years?
“And he doesn’t even look like himself anymore,” I add for good measure.
“So, he’s ugly now? Because I know you, and you’re not exactly…notshallow when it comes to who you date,” Audrey snaps back.
I roll my eyes. She’s not wrong; I don’t do relationships. I casually date, and if it’s going to be casual, they need to be tens.
“No, he isn’t ugly.” If she saw the fullness of his lips or him standing at his full 6’4” height, she wouldn’t even joke. He’s painfully good looking. “But you’re getting off topic.”
“Well, I’ve never seen a picture of him. Give me his last name so I can stalk him on social media.”
I puff out a laugh because the JesseI knewwould never have social media. He was a punk kid who didn’t conform, and the idea would probably repulse him. Though I can’t be totally sure. I’ve never searched for him, even when I was drunk. I knew it would be too painful.
It’s one Pandora’s box no amount of tequila could get me to pry open.
“No last name will be given.” I sigh, my breath puffing in the cold. “He’s tall. Dark hair, green eyes. Tattoos from his knuckles to his jawline…I’m assuming. Still wears all black. Probably spends too much time lifting. He’s a douche, okay?”
“Mmhmm,” she replies smugly.
“I’m serious. Nothing about this is fun for me.”
“Okay, okay. But...he sounds hot? I mean, you don’tdate, so what’s the harm in warming up to him?”
The idea has me clenching my phone, and I look back over my shoulder, even though I know he’s not following me.
“I think you’re forgetting that my delusional little sister is having a baby in a few months, the house needs probably fifty grand in repairs, and my ex-boyfriend just moved into the spare room. It’scomplicated. And you know I don’t docomplicated.”
The bell chimes in her bakeshop, but she keeps talking to me.
“I know, I know. I’m just trying to ease the tension. This isn’t like you.”
I nod, expelling a shaky breath into the cold air.“I’m never myself when I’m in Wilmington.”
I know Audrey, of all people, will understand the pain of going back to the place you grew up in, the way it surrounds you like a suffocating cloak.
