‘Don’t worry, you didn’t really allude to much. I just got the impression he wasn’t your favourite person.’
‘That would be right,’ admitted Olivia. ‘I guess when I see others in the same position I was in, I get angry because I want them to be braver than I was. I want them to wake up and run and get out of there — before it’s too late.’
Kitty stood up and walked round to sit beside Olivia. ‘What you’ve told me is really brave. I know it’s not easy. I’m so sorry that you’ve been through all of that.’
Olivia twirled a strand of hair in one hand. ‘I’m not sure it ever ends. I mean, I felt so much better after my trip to Italy. I started to get a bit of perspective, you know? And then coming here really did feel like a fresh start. But then I was stupid enough to check my voicemails the other night in the pub. He left several abusive messages on my phone, asking who I thought I was and where the hell was I. I couldn’t think straight, so I ran from the pub and realised I’d left my bag behind. Poor Logan, I’m afraid he incurred my wrath that night.’
‘You haven’t done anything wrong, Olivia. Nothing at all.’
Olivia was unable to speak, but she nodded her head gratefully at Kitty. She sipped her tea, then took a bite of toast and chewed thoughtfully for a minute. ‘I thought I was getting there, Kitty,’ she whispered. ‘But it feels like I’m backthereand at my most vulnerable. Yesterday scared me. If I had come across that boyfriend of Sara’s, I’m worried about what I might have done to him.’
‘But you don’t need to worry about that. You didn’t come across him. You helped a vulnerable young woman and made her feel seen, and you just never know. Maybe she’ll find the courage to leave her boyfriend thanks to your pep talk.’
Olivia nodded gratefully. ‘I’m just so sorry about all of it, especially last night. I really hope I didn’t create too much of a scene.’
‘You were fine,’ Kitty said. ‘Logan came to make sure you got home safely.’
She groaned and sunk lower into her seat. ‘I’ll get in touch later with him to apologise. And thank you. I don’t know if you’ll ever realise what you’ve done for me. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I appreciate it, and you and Logan making sure I got home safely.’
Kitty shrugged. ‘That’s what friends are for.’
Olivia sat for a minute, wondering if she should open up and tell her just how frightened of Patrick she was and how that had triggered yesterday’s downward spiral. Sharing this story was not going to be easy, yet somehow she felt that Kitty was the right person to tell it to. ‘The truth is that I had to leave Patrick. Because . . . I have no doubt that if I hadn’t run when I did, I wouldn’t be here.’
‘What do you mean when you say that you wouldn’t be here?’ asked Kitty gently.
Olivia steepled her hands together and stared at Kitty. ‘Just that. If I hadn’t run when I did, I would be dead. I really think that Patrick would have killed me.’
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Kitty could see the hesitation in Olivia’s eyes, and she didn’t break her gaze. Instead she just nodded gently and waited.
‘When I met him, about five years ago, he was very charming and smooth and I fell for him hook, line and sinker. He was a really successful dancer, handsome, and the sort of person that people would just be drawn to when he walked into a room. Everyone loved him. It was hard not to. We were friends at first and I looked up to him. He was almost like a mentor to me. I suppose, looking back, it was all too good to be true. Hindsight’s handy, isn’t it?’
Kitty nodded and chewed her bottom lip as she waited for Olivia to continue.
‘We had an amazing time together at the start, but then I began to notice things . . .’ She hesitated, dropping her eyes to the ground.
‘What kind of things did you notice?’ asked Kitty.
Olivia lifted her hand to demonstrate. ‘He would squeeze me on the arm, hard, especially when we were out in public together and I didn’t do as he said. Or if I said something he deemed to be inappropriate. Then he started to monitor what I ate, especially in the lead up to a tour. He had no hesitation about telling me that I was starting to look a bit porky and that my costumes wouldn’t fit me. At the time I thought he was being caring, and now of course I realise he was being controlling. It wasn’t coming from a loving place.’ She sighed.
Kitty knew she had to hide the shock she felt at what Olivia was sharing with her. She tried to remain grounded, keeping her eyes on Olivia’s.
‘And then there was the money. He kept insisting that we have a joint account together, and I gave in as he went on and on about it constantly. I thought it was because he cared. Andhe was so charming. I was in love, so I just went along with it. Although I’m so glad that I kept my own bank account too. I didn’t tell him that. That’s about the only sane thing that I did when I was with him. And I’m so grateful, otherwise I’d never have got away. He has everyone fooled. There was no way I could tell anyone. They would accuse me of being crazy.’ She twirled her finger around in the air and rolled her eyes. ‘People would tell me all the time how lucky I was to have him as my partner. But behind closed doors he completely changed, and the mask slipped. If a friend called me, he would get jealous. When I was out, he would call my cell phone incessantly. Hundreds and hundreds of times a day. It all got too much, so I started to withdraw from my social circle.’ She stopped to wipe away a tear. ‘You must think I’m so stupid.’
‘I don’t at all,’ said Kitty. ‘It’s classic abusive behaviour from a narcissist. And you don’t realise it when you’re in that space. You think you’re going mad.’
Olivia threw her such a look of relief that it was impossible for Kitty not to reach over and draw her into a hug.
‘That’s it, exactly. I thought I was going crazy. I kept thinking it was all my fault and that I needed to fix it. I was embarrassed to tell anyone, and I felt so alone. I just didn’t think my friends would believe me.’
‘What changed?’ asked Kitty.
She smiled sadly. ‘Aunt Trudy was in town, and I was due to see her for lunch the next day. Patrick was also going away the following night for work. He insisted that I should spend the whole day with him, and if I loved him I would puthimbefore my aunt. He said he didn’t like Trudy and she didn’t have my best interests at heart and that I shouldn’t go. Of course, I made the mistake of arguing back. I adore my aunt and she has always been my greatest supporter and I will always defend her. She lives in California, and I don’t get to see much of her anyway.There was no way I wasn’t going to go and meet her when she was in the neighbourhood.’
‘What happened?’
‘He said if I went out to meet her then it was a sign that I didn’t love him. I told him to grow up and that I’d had enough. Then he lost his temper and tried to take my phone off me and my keys . . . then . . .’ Her voice trailed away as she choked back a sob of emotion.
