I had to be.
Because I might’ve screwed up a lot of things in my life, but not her. Not my little girl.
And anyone who had a problem with her would have a problem with me.
2
MATTY
His mouth was soft. Skilled, even. He made all the right noises at the back of his throat, rubbed his hand down my shaft, and cupped my balls.
But nothing was happening. My cock was more dead than my life during calving season.
One arm behind my head, I stared at the ceiling like it had answers, like maybe if I squinted long enough, it’d spell out what the hell was wrong with me.
Why I couldn’t focus on the wet mouth moving up and down my cock.
Why the stroke of a tongue made me feel slightly sick.
Why the intensity of his brown eyes seemed awfully wrong tonight.
Because one look at Todd in those sexy pink shorts usually had me hard as fuck. What had changed tonight? Why was my head all over the place since I found out?—
Nope.
Fuck him.
He didn’t deserve my thought.
“Am I doing something wrong?” Todd raised his head, voice breathy, mouth hovering over my stomach.
“No,” I said quickly, maybe too quickly. I gave him a weak smile and brushed a hand through his long, straight hair. “You’re doing great.”
I wasn’t lying. Hewasgreat. Ten years older than me, he was beautiful, femme, all legs and pouty lips. A couple of years ago, he’d been visiting Bristlecone Springs and fell so in love with the town that he stayed. When he happened upon the vacancy for a nurse at the clinic, he’d applied and become one of us.
But his personality was too loud, whereas I was more private, so I knew from early on this could never be more than a quick affair. I never expected the spark to fizzle out already.
“This is doing great?” He pouted, still stroking my soft cock. “You usually walk through the front door hard for me. That is very flattering.”
My face burned. Most times I went to Todd strung out on adrenaline, fresh off another fight with Hudson, needing to fuck the anger out of me. And yeah, it usually worked. To a certain degree.
Todd was too…delicate. All long lines and careful movements, more concerned about his hair getting mussed or chipping a nail than grabbing the headboard and letting me ruin him. I’d try to take the edge off with him, but I always left with some of the tension I came with.
I brushed his hand away and sat up. “Look, I’m sorry, but this ain’t happening tonight, so I better go.”
Todd blinked at me from between my knees, confusion flickering in his eyes. He pushed back onto his heels. “Seriously? We don’t have to have sex. We can always talk. There’s a movie?—”
“Not really into movies.” Not anymore. Not sincehemade the movie experience one that could never be replicated. Nor one that I would want to with anyone else.
Dad had said to be discreet, so I was. We used to hole up in that shitty motel on the edge of town. The one with the flickering neon sign and paper-thin walls where the bed creaked louder than the door.
Every Friday night like clockwork, we’d rent a room, carrying takeout and whatever sad-looking VHS tape the gas station still had in the bargain bin. Usually something ridiculous. Bad westerns with too much dust and not enough plot. Hudson would stretch out on the bed in nothing but jeans, one arm behind his head, and make snarky commentary like he’d been hired for it.
“This fella couldn’t lasso a fence post if it begged him.”
I’d laugh until I couldn’t breathe, halfway through a mouthful of greasy fries, eyes glued to him instead of the screen. And somewhere between the dying gunman and the dramatic desert stare-downs, he’d pull me in and kiss me like we had all the time in the world.
We didn’t, of course. Thirty-six hours at most. That was all we had before we had to return to the ranch, him an insignificant ranch hand and me the boss’s son.
