He groaned as he fell into one of the chairs. “What iswrongwith me?”
“Depends on what we’re talking about. What happened?”
Fabian gave her the bullet point version, and waited for her to laugh at him. It would be understandable; this situation was absurd.
But she didn’t laugh.
“I wonder...” she said. But she didn’t finish her sentence, just tapped her fingers against her lips and stared right through Fabian.
“Wonder what?”
“Well, I mean, I don’t know him, of course, but do you think he might be dealing with some sort of trauma, maybe?”
“Trauma?” Fabian really had no idea. “I don’t know. I think he might have some self-esteem issues. Or, like, anxiety problems. He doesn’t exactly talk much, so it’s hard to say.”
“Now I feel bad for talking about sex toys last night. Fuck, that was really insensitive of me.”
Fabian frowned, remembering something. “No, I don’t think that bothered him. Maybe surprised him, but we talked a bit more about that stuff when we were walking to my place. And he told me before that he likes sex.”
“Oh. Well, that’s good, then. So he likes sex, he likes you, but he doesn’t like sex with you.”
“Yes. Thank you for summarizing that.”
She took a sip of latte, her face scrunched in concentration. “He’s scared,” she decided.
“Scared? Of what? Me?”
“I don’t know, but it’s the only thing that makes sense. He likes you, and he doesn’t want to ruin things.”
Okay, that did actually make a lot of sense. The more Fabian thought about it, the more obvious it became. “I wouldn’t have pressured him into doing anything he’s not comfortable with.”
“Iknow that.Hedoesn’t. Maybe he’s not comfortable withanything.”
Fabian considered this. “So what should I do? Forget about him? I mean, it was stupid anyway, right?”
She folded her arms. “You want me to tell you it’s stupid to like him?”
“Yes please.”
“Fabian, that guy is a fucking sweetheart. He’s the opposite of all those ding dongs you normally sleep with.”
“Yeah, but—”
“You should have seen him when you were on that stage last night. Heart eyes! He wasbesotted. I’ll bet he’s been pushing himself out of his comfort zone just so he can spend time with you.”
What? Really?“We’ve only hung out like three times.”
She held her hands up. “Look, again, I don’t know him. But if I had to guess, I would say hanging out with someone three times is a big fucking deal for that guy.”
Fabian folded his arms on the table and buried his face in them. “I’m such a fucking asshole.”
“No, you’re a human being. A good one. And Ryan is too.”
“What do I do now? I should just leave him alone, right? Forever?”
“Would that make you happy?”
Fabian didn’t even have to think about it. “No.”
