He wished he could take the question back, but Fabian was already typing a reply. It seemed to take forever for his response to show up on Ryan’s phone.
Fabian: Tiny, mostly. But there was one close-up shot of you where you looked kind of...intense. And sweaty.
Oh. Ryan had no idea what to say to that. But Fabian added,It was a good lookwith a winky face emoji.
Ryan snorted and wrote,If you say so.
Fabian: I do say so. And then I saw you score that goal. It might be the first time I felt excited about a hockey thing.
Ryan: Happy to be your first.
Oh god. What the fuck, Ryan? What was it about Fabian that made Ryanplayful? He was never playful.
Fabian: Where are you now?
Ryan: Montreal. We flew here right after the game. Another game tomorrow night.
Fabian: At least the flight is over.
Ryan: Yep. Where are you?
Fabian: Home. Trying to figure out a song.
Ryan: It’s late.
Fabian: I know. But I won’t be able to sleep until I work this out.
Ryan smiled, and wished he could see Fabian right now. He imagined his hair being disheveled from Fabian running his hand through it as he worked. Maybe he was wearing pajamas or something cozy.
Ryan: Don’t stay up too late. I’ll see you on Monday, ok?
Fabian: Ok, superstar.
Ryan took his tea the same way his mother did—orange pekoe with a big splash of milk. Unfortunately, his Columbus hotel room only had powdered coffee whitener, so the tea tasted terrible.
He sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the wall and trying to process everything he had just discussed in his Skype session with his therapist. Or, more importantly, what hehadn’tdiscussed with her. Like the fact that Fabian brushing his delicate fingers over Ryan’s bruised knuckles had nearly made Ryan’s knees go out. Surely it had more to do with how long it had been since Ryan had last been touched by another man, but god, it had affected him. And then there’d been that chaste kiss Fabian had pressed to Ryan’s cheek last week, which Ryan swore he could still feel on his skin.
He could have also talked about the fact that he was feeling real sexual desire for the first time in averylong time. Or the fact that, as much as he liked imagining laying Fabian on top of the clothing that was strewn all over the mattress in his charming little apartment and kissing his elegant neck, Ryan was too insecure to actually attempt intimacy with anyone.
Heshouldtalk about these things, but he just couldn’t. It was too embarrassing to get into, even with a professional therapist. So when she’d asked if he had anything else he wanted to talk about, he’d just said, “Nope. I think that’s about it for today.”
Coward.
Fabian hadn’t texted him since their brief conversation in Montreal the other night, which wasn’t surprising. Frankly, the surprising thing was that he had texted Ryan in the first place. That he hadwatched Ryan play hockey.
Ryan picked up his phone now, just in case.
There was a message, but it was from Wyatt.I can’t believe our day off is in Columbus.
Ryan: Bored?
Wyatt: Did you know there is a Drainage Hall of Fame here?
Ryan grinned, and wrote,I heard the lines are pretty crazy this time of year, though.
Wyatt didn’t respond right away, and Ryan started to worry that he didn’t get his joke.
Wyatt: Maybe we can buy a speed pass. Skip the lines.
