“I’m glad you were there to see it.” He pulled two mugs out of a cupboard above the fridge and set them on the tiny counter. “Is mint tea okay?”
“That sounds perfect.”
Fabian prepared their tea while Ryan watched in silence. There seemed to be an unspoken agreement between them that they would wait until the tea was ready to really get into things.
By the time Fabian handed him a steaming mug of mint tea, Ryan’s nerves were up again. He had planned to speak first, but maybe that wasn’t the best idea. Fabian sat in the chair that was free of discarded clothing tonight, facing Ryan and the end of the bed. His bare toes nearly touched the ends of Ryan’s socked ones.
“I quit hockey,” Ryan blurted out.
Fabian’s eyes widened.
“I mean, I am quitting. I’m in the process of quitting. But I won’t be playing any more games. I’m done.”
“Wow. That...wasn’t what I was expecting.”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do next, but I have money, so I can take some time to figure that out. And...heal.”
“How’s your back?”
“A lot better. I had some days off and I rested it.”
“I’m glad.”
Ryan could tell Fabian was being cautious. He didn’t blame him.
“I haven’t taken a painkiller in over a week. Not even an Advil. Nothing.”
Fabian chewed his lip, then said, “I was too hard on you about that. I could have trusted you to be careful about your pain medication. You’ve been doing this a long time, and you’re not, as far as I can tell, an addict.”
“I’m not. I’ve always been careful. But I think it would be easy to cross that line. Too easy. And you were right about letting myself heal. Hockey is stupid that way.”
Fabian cupped his hands around his mug. “Even if you were developing an addiction, it was heartless of me to walk away like that. You needed help and support. Not...that.”
“You were scared.”
“I wasterrified,” Fabian corrected. “But I want you to know...you don’t have to quit hockey. For me, I mean. If that’s why you did it—”
“It’s not the only reason. What you said was true—hockey isn’t good for me.”
Fabian looked relieved. “All right. But if you think quitting is the only way I’ll be with you, it isn’t true. I was being selfish and that was a ridiculous thing to demand of you.”
Ryan’s heart flipped. “You want to be with me?”
Fabian’s lips quirked up. “You caught that, did you?”
Ryan grinned stupidly at him, then snapped out of it and remembered what he’d wanted to say. “Okay. I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to say. And I practiced it. So I want to say it.”
“You practiced it?”
“Yes.”
“Well by all means, let’s hear it.”
Ryan stood and set his mug on Fabian’s desk. “The thing is—” He paused, already lost. “These past few months—” Damn it. “I know we haven’t—” He sighed, and then cursed under his breath.
“Ryan.” Fabian stood and placed a hand on his arm. “You don’t have to say anything.”
Ryan shook his head. “I’m in love with you.” He swallowed. “I had to say that. Just that.”
