He didn’t play the song he’d written about Ryan.
When he finished his set, he smiled, then bowed as the audience went wild with applause. Sweat beaded along his hairline from the exertion of playing, and he flicked his bangs aside with the tip of his bow.
He’d worked so fucking hard for this moment. Ten years almost since he’d quit the Symphony to make exactlythishappen. His eyes burned with tears and he let them fall. He covered his mouth with his hand, trying to stop himself from full-on sobbing in front of this audience. Because they weren’t just happy tears. He regretted how this nightcouldhave been, if he’d still had Ryan.
He wiped at his eyes, making a mess, he was sure, of his makeup. He blinked to clear his vision and took another moment to remember this audience. To really soak it all in before he left the stage. His gaze traveled over the crowd until it landed on a flash of red hair in the very back, standing head and shoulders above everyone else.
Ryan?
It was definitely Ryan. There was no mistaking him. And when Fabian’s gaze stayed on him, Ryan smiled sheepishly and gave a little thumbs-up.
Fabian gasped. His heart beat for what felt like the first time in weeks. Without thinking, he lowered himself down from the stage, into the crowd. People were touching him, patting him on the back, grabbing his arms, but he ignored them. He just kept walking, forcing people to step aside because he would walk right over them if they didn’t.
It took forever to reach the back of the club, and for a moment Fabian worried that he had hallucinated the whole thing. But then he saw him. Huge and gorgeous and real. And wearing the scarf Fabian had given him for Christmas.
“Hi,” Ryan said.
Fabian didn’t say anything. He just wrapped his arms around him and held on as tight as he could. A second later, Ryan returned the hug, wrapping his strong arms around him and pulling him close.
“Good show,” Ryan said.
“You came,” Fabian sniffed.
“Yeah. Is that okay?”
Fabian nodded against his wonderful, solid chest. “It’s okay.”
“You got plans after this?”
“Not anymore.”
Ryan laughed. “I was hoping we could talk.”
“Yes.” Fabian pulled back and smiled up at him through wet eyes. “Don’t leave, all right? I need to stick around for a bit but...stay. In fact, stay right by my side. I don’t want to lose you.”Not again. Not ever again.
“Okay.”
They took a cab back to Fabian’s apartment. It was twenty below zero outside, and the club was outside of the Village.
Ryan had been uncertain about going to Fabian’s show, but he knew he had to at least try. He literally had nothing left to lose. When he saw Fabian onstage, wearing his necklace, Ryan’s heart had lifted. Fabian couldn’t completely be done with him if he was wearing his present to such an important show.
He’d been planning what he would say, if given the opportunity, for days. It seemed his opportunity had arrived.
He followed Fabian into his apartment, and was overcome with relief. He thought he’d never see this room again.
Fabian was still wearing his stage outfit. He was also still wearing his makeup, though the black liner around his eyes had smudged quite a bit.
“Give me a moment?” Fabian asked. “I want to clean myself up before we talk.”
“Of course.”
Ryan sat on the end of the bed and waited while Fabian did whatever he needed to do in the bathroom. Fifteen minutes later, Fabian emerged in a black satin dressing gown with a freshly scrubbed face and wet hair. He was still wearing the necklace.
Ryan laughed. “Do you ever take that off?”
Fabian smiled, and walked to the stove. “When I have to.” He took the kettle that was on one of the burners and filled it with water, then returned it to the stove. “Truthfully, this is the first time I’ve worn it since...well. You know.”
Ryan knew. “I’m glad you wore it tonight.”
