Uriah snickered behind me. He had to be thinking the same thing.
She leaned in really close. “I want to have your babies.”
Uriah, Noah on his other side, Luis, Taylor and Grant all choked on their beers at the same time.
This was a first.
“Take me home, knock me up.”
Taylor and Luis ran for it. They were choking and laughing so hard they couldn’t keep themselves together. Grant, Noah, and Uriah were just clutching their beers, staring at me. I was staring back.
“I’ll make you a beautiful baby.”
Oh, hell.
“Well, uh…that’s nice offer—”
Noah and Grant ran, pausing only to make sure that Noah wasn’t actually going to fall over, leaving me and Uriah alone.
“—but, I’m already seeing someone, baby girl.”
“She doesn’t need to know.”
This time, I felt like I swallowed my tongue, and I coughed as best as I could to clear my throat. “Trust me, darling, they’ll know.”
As if sent from God, Hailey walked over and planted a kiss on my cheek. “Hey good looking. What’s a hot guy like you doing surrounded by empty chairs.”
I grabbed her around the waist and planted one right on her lips. “Missed you, baby. Hails, this is…”
“Disappointed and dismissed,” the woman said, grabbing the playbill and her pen, and storming off.
Bryce walked up, watching the woman flee with her friend and then turned to me. “Do I need to sock you in the face for touching my girl?”
“If you weren’t straight, I’d kiss you too. Holy crap, that was unreal. You missed it. She wanted to have my babies, and Hailey walked up just on cue.” I ran a hand through my hair. “Thank you, Hailey. I didn’t know how to get rid of someone offering to bear my children. Uriah saw…”
I realized he was gone. He had slipped off the stool and disappeared.
“Lemme text these assholes, tell them it’s safe to come back,” I said, pulling out my own phone.
Bryce chuckled as he watched me send a message to the whole group.
Austin: Get your laughing asses back here. You shit abandoned me to that.
Taylor: I think I broke my ribs trying not to laugh.
Grant: I’m still laughing.
Luis appeared first and grabbed my hand, kneeling. “Oh, Austin, please knock me up. Let me have your ba—oof!”
I kicked him in the stomach. “Get up, you jerk.”
Grant clapped me on the back. “Dude, I thoughtyouwere going to give birth on that one. Cow or kitten, I couldn’t tell. Holy moly.”
“I’ve heard of women like that,” Taylor said, “I’ve just never seen one in action.”
It took me another beer to calm down and about ten seconds more to realized that Uriah hadn’t come back. Tossing a look at Noah, he let out a sigh.
“He’s in the back alley,” he said quietly. “Or, he was.”
