“Wait.” Moving to the edge of his chair, Luke waved his hand around dramatically. “So, are you self-medicating with booze because of your parents or because you got into a fight with Cameron?”
Asher gave him a droll stare. “Can’t it be both?”
“Touché.”
Rising from the chair, he dove back into the tote bag and pulled out two bottles of water. After sliding one to Asher, he paused, looked down at his own bottle, then pushed that across the table as well.
Asher twisted the cap off one without argument and down half the contents before continuing. “Seeing my parents again brought up a lot of shit I thought I was over.”
“I don’t think that’s something you get over, honey. You deal with it. You learn to live with it, but I don’t think it ever goes away.”
No, it didn’t, and that was the problem. He hadn’t dealt with it. He’d just shoved it down into the deepest part of himself and tried to forget it. For a little while, it had even worked.
Asher sighed and reached for his sandwich again, feeling moderately more human now that some of the anger was fading.
He couldn’t count the number of times Luke had saved him from himself over the years. It couldn’t be easy being his friend, but Luke never wavered. Anytime Asher needed him, he was there to put things into perspective. No matter how pissed off and self-destructive Asher was, Luke could always get through to him, always get him to talk.
Just like Cameron, the guy deserved a hell of a lot better than the hell Asher has put him through.
“Thank you, Luke. For everything.”
Luke nodded, but he didn’t try to minimize it. “You never have to thank me for helping you, but you’re welcome.” He stared back at him for a long time, his expression thoughtful. “Ash, you’re my family, and you know I love you, but you have this really annoying habit of taking your shit out on the people who care about you.”
Asher winced because he couldn’t deny it. Letting people close to him didn’t come easily, and asking for help was even harder. Being a complete prick to anyone who showed the slightest bit of concern for him, however, came all too easily.
“I’m sorry.”
Luke shook his head. “I know why you do it, but I’m just saying, don’t be surprised if, when you push people away, some of them push back.” Lifting his sandwich, he used it to gesture at Asher, flinging bits of lettuce over the table in the process. “In case you were wondering, those are the people worth keeping around.”
It was kind of sad that he was such a complete emotional moron that he needed to have that spelled out for him.
“Okay, so how do I fix this?”
“I’m not sure there’s anything to fix, but you could start by saying you’re sorry.”
“I’m sorry.”
Luke threw a pickle at his face. “Not to me, dumbass.”
Asher grinned for the first time in days. He knew he needed to apologize to Cameron, to explain himself, but it didn’t feel like enough. Unless his actions backed them up, they were just words. They didn’t mean anything.
He was still trying to figure out how to prove to Cameron that he wasn’t a total lost cause when his cell phone began to vibrate in his pocket. Pulling it out, he frowned down at the name on the screen, anxiety making his chest tighten and his heart race.
“Uh, I need to answer this.”
Luke shooed him away with a dismissive flick of his wrist.
Striding out of the kitchen, he slid his thumb across the screen and lifted the phone to his ear as he made his way to the den. “Hello?”
“Hi, Asher, it’s Sarah. I just wanted to check in with you to make sure you’re still coming for dinner tomorrow. We’ll be sitting down about six, but you’re welcome to come early if you want. Say around four?”
“I…uh…” Clearly, Cameron hadn’t told her about their argument. He wasn’t even sure if Cameron would still want him there.
“Asher?” There was a long pause, then, “Are you okay?”
The genuine concern, the real, motherly affection in her voice broke him. “No.” His voice cracked on the single syllable. “I don’t think I am.”
“Tell me what happened.”
