So, he did. He told her everything, beginning with his encounter with his parents. He told her about the argument on Cameron’s front lawn, about how he’d screwed up—again—and pushed Cameron away when he should have been leaning on him. He even told her about the world’s saddest pity party he’d been indulging in since then.
“I don’t want to lose him,” he concluded. It was the first time he’d admitted it out loud, and it felt good to say it. “But I don’t want him to stay because he feels obligated.” He sighed. “I don’t know what to do. What’s the right thing to do?”
“Asher, there’s no good answer to that.” She didn’t say it condescendingly. If anything, she sounded a little sad. “Every relationship is different, but they all take work. Trust is the foundation of any good relationship, but it also takes a lot of communication and compromise. Have you talked to him? Have you asked him what he wants?”
“Not directly,” he admitted, cringing as he said it. Again, it sounded so simple when someone pointed it out to him. “He keeps telling me he’s not going anywhere when I try to bring it up.”
“Well, there you have it. What’s the problem?”
“I don’t want him to get hurt.” While true, it wasn’t the whole of it. “I don’t want to be the reason he gets hurt.”
“I love that boy, but he’s just as stubborn as his father.” A fond chuckle floated over the line. “Cameron has alwaysbeen very practical, even when he was a little boy. Every decision is considered carefully, all the pros and cons weighed. He used to drive me crazy.”
Now, Asher found himself smiling. That sounded exactly like the Cameron he knew. To hear everyone tell it, Cameron had been born a sensible forty-year-old man and hadn’t changed much since.
“I bet.”
“When he was four, I made the mistake of offering him a choice between white and wheat bread for his peanut butter sandwich. It took him twenty-five minutes, three sheets of paper, and a box of crayons to work it out.”
The only thing he found surprising about the story was that it hadonlytaken twenty-five minutes. “Which one did he choose?”
“Oh, I don’t remember, and that’s not the point I’m trying to make.” She spoke as if he was a little dense for not getting that. “What I’m trying to say is that you’re fooling yourself if you think he hasn’t considered this in detail and weighed every possible outcome. He probably has a list somewhere.”
Of that, Asher had no doubt. It was just one of the many quirks he found endearing. “I know.” He carded his fingers through his hair and groaned. “Iknow. It’s just that we haven’t been together very long, and I worry that this is all too much.”
“Stop beating yourself up.” The warmth in her voice washed over him, wrapping him the type of motherly affection he’d only ever read about or seen in movies. “You care about him, right?”
“Yes.” The answer came with surprising ease, and it didn’t cause even a splinter of anxiety. It did start that damn fluttering in his chest again, though. “Which is why I don’t want to screw this up.”
To that, Sarah began to laugh, and it took a full ten seconds for her to sober. “You are definitely going to screw up, but so is Cameron. That’s just a part of being with someone. It’s what you doafterthat counts.”
“So, what you’re saying is that I should probably call him and grovel?”
God, her laughter was infectious. “I’m saying that you need to trust him to know his own heart and mind. This isn’t all on you, Asher. You two are a team now.” Her voice became stern when she added, “Start acting like it.”
Asher ducked his head. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Groveling probably wouldn’t hurt, though.”
A bark of laughter burst from him, and he wished he could reach through the phone and hug her. “Thank you, Sarah.”
“You can call me anytime, okay?”
“I might just take you up on that.”
“Anytime,” she repeated. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She hadn’t really told him anything he didn’t already know, but he felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Some part of him had recognized that Cameron wouldn’t only be with him out of some sense of obligation. He was aware enough of Cameron’s quirks and compulsive tendencies to know he wouldn’t dive headfirst into a complicated situation without thinking through the consequences.
He’d known, but with his pitiful lack of experience when it came to relationships, he hadn’t trusted himself. What he’d needed was confirmation, someone to validate all those little thoughts and ideas that buzzed around in his head when he tried to fall asleep at night.
Bringing up his messages, he found Cameron’s name and typed out a short text.
Asher: Thank you.
Cameron’s response came back immediately.
Cameron: I thought you could use a friend.
