I made a mistake.
I should’ve stayed in Heartville.
Jeez, even the name of the place was a flashing sign of where my heart belongs.
But Hayden didn’t ask me to be with him. Although Sawyer did.
Sneaking up the stairs, I leave the fray and hide out in my room. I send Ellie a quick message to let her know where I am. I lie back on my bed, and notice how it's not overly comfy, not like Hayden’s big marshmallow dreamy cloud of yumminess. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t get him out of my head. I scroll through the countless pictures we took on our many dates. His handsome face is right there on the tiny screen. A vivid blue sky frames his strong jawline and sexy black hat. Glossy white teeth, perfectly straight and clean, peek between his wide smile. That secret smile of his raises my temperature even now. Near the end of my time with him, each kiss felt like the last. I never wanted this day to come, but it did, and now I have to face up to it.
I question the fabric of everything - did he ever really like me, the way I liked him? He let me go, without even showing up to say goodbye. Surely love weaves an unbreakable bond, and if it breaks, then it wasn’t really love at all.
My finger hovers over the message I typed out a few hours ago. I debated hitting send back then, and didn’t, but now I’ve had a few glasses of courage. Sucking in, I shudder the breath out and decide not to reach out to Hayden. It’s too soon. I’m too desperate. Too hurt.
Scrolling past Hayden’s name, I reach Sawyer’s and hit call. He finally picks up after nearly a minute of ringing. I knew to give the old guy time to hobble into the house. As soon as he answers, and I hear that southern gruffness that only he does so well, I’m overcome with a feeling like I’m homesick.
“Hey there. What are you up to today?” I ask him.
“Selling your truck. Ain't no good to me sitting out there looking all pretty like a jilted prom queen.” I’m suddenly torn up with jealousy and rage. If I’m not careful, I’ll shatter the champagne flute with my tight angry grip.
“What? You can’t sell it. You gave that truck to me! Never mind you said it had sentimental value.” And now I actually understand the real value of it. I snap indignantly, pulling back my shoulders like I’m ready for war. “We worked on it together.”
“You ain't here, and he wanted it.”
“Who wanted it?”
“Hayden Taylor.”
“Hayden bought my truck?”
“He sure did.”
“Why?”
“Said it held memories. I didn’t get into it with the guy. He offered me more than it’s worth.” Sawyer’s cough crackles down the line. “I think you went and broke his heart. And there I was, worrying he’d break yours.”
“Sawyer…” I feign laughter. “He didn’t say goodbye to me. I’d hardly say I broke his heart. The guy left me waiting at his house the day I was leaving. That says it all.”
“It says to me he couldn’t face letting you go.”
“So, he just ignored me?”
“Maybe he hoped you’d stay. We all wanted you to stay. This is where your heart belongs, is it not?”
I swallow hard and take the phone away from my ear, so I can exhale without him hearing my muted sob. Bringing it back to my ear, I whisper, “I wish I’d stayed. This place doesn’t feel like home anymore.”
“You’ve always got a home here with me, kid. This place will be yours one day. And that man of yours, he’s been moping around like a lovesick pup since you left. His father more or less told me so when I delivered the part for his tractor. He spends his evenings out with that dog, and he even bailed on his buddies. He didn’t show up at Jackson’s on Friday night, and his buddies are calling him all sorts of names.”
“Where was he?” I’m standing at my window staring out to the stars, wondering if Hayden is looking at the same constellations.
“How the heck should I know? Licking his wounds, no doubt. Anyway, he’s just left in your truck. So, I guess that's that.”
“And you’re leaving me the yard someday?” My scalp prickles, and a surge of adrenaline jars my bones.
“Who else would I leave it to? You're a dab hand at fixing up and cleaning.” He wheezes a laugh. “And the day you decide to come back, bring some of that nice sea mineral face cream with you.”
When I end the call with Papa Sawyer, I send the message to Hayden. It's now or never.
Summer:
