“I did,” I agreed, my arms wrapped around the ropes. “Still do a lot of the time.”
“I know things aren’t always easy for you, but I hope the changes I’ve made the last month have helped in a small way.”
I turned my head around to gaze at him, the swing having slowed to a sway. “They have, more than you’ll ever know. There’s a lot up in the air with the business, though. I have a plan, and I need to discuss it with you.”
He rubbed my back now that the swing had mostly stopped moving. “Tomorrow is soon enough. Tonight, I want to enjoy the nice breeze. If you’re feeling okay after this afternoon.”
“Yup.” I jumped off the swing, and we stepped out from under the tree. “I’m enjoying the stars and the cool breeze too.”
His gaze held mine when he spoke. “Me too. You’re the brightest star I know, honeybee.”
A few months ago I wouldn’t have believed him, but what I saw in his eyes tonight told me it was absolutely true. Before I could say anything, he took my hand and tugged on it, heading back toward the orchard. “I have an idea. Let me show you.”
I applied resistance to his hand until he stopped and spun back to me. “We’ll take the road. It’s faster.”
“There’s a road? You made us walk through the orchard, and there’s a road?”
I snickered while our feet crunched across the gravel. “I wanted you to get the full effect of the romantic orchard,” I explained, tongue-in-cheek. “Besides, I didn’t want to jump the fence and have Ava-Grace get mad and call the cops.”
“I own the place now,” he pointed out, laughing. “I can do whatever I want.”
“You can, but should you?” The road was bumpy but ran the full length of the orchard and was only used for the tractors harvesting apples during the fall. The rest of the time, it was closed to traffic. We’d have to slide under the gate at the end of it to get back on the main road.
“I’m starting to see there are a lot of things I shouldn’t have done and a lot of things I should have.”
His words were pointed, and I swallowed because I knew what direction they were aimed at.Me. He was trying to communicate but still wasn’t able to find a way. I also didn’t know how to help him. I wished I did because I sensed if he could just talk about his feelings since that letter had come to light, he’d finally be able to relax.
We reached the gate, and I pointed at it. “Over?”
He raised a brow and held up a finger, climbing the gate while being careful of the expensive suit pants he still wore. Once he was on the other side, he motioned me to him. I followed him, and he caught me on the other side, lowering me to the ground. I slid down his body, the sensation of his hard muscles against my tender breasts sending a shiver through me.
“God, you’re so damn beautiful,” he whispered right before his lips came down on mine in a tender kiss. It wasn’t frantic or passionate. It was soft, gentle, and made me feel cherished for who I am.
A kiss like that meant more than passion or desire. A kiss like that was about the emotions of the heart.
“Why are you saying these things now? Are you just noticing me as a woman instead of the little girl you used to know?” I asked, confused by his rapid changes in behavior over the last few months.
“No, honeybee, I’ve always noticed, and I can’t pretend anymore.”
There was that word again.Pretend.He said the word like it had kept him hostage for years. I knew him well enough to know there was a reason, but I was starting to think it wasn’t his. Did someone tell him he couldn’t be with me? Did someone else exert their opinions on him in such a way that he couldn’t break free?
“Come with me.” He took my hand and led me down the gravel road a few hundred feet before he helped me down the grass berm to the sandy beach of Lake Superior. He took his shoes off and set them on a log, then dug his feet into the warm sand of the beach. “It’s gorgeous here. I’ve missed having time to sit and do nothing but stare at the lake.”
I sat next to him and leaned over on my legs, the scent, sound, and sight of the water entrancing me. “I tried to kill myself in the lake once,” I blurted out. I dropped my head and groaned. “Crap, why do I say these things?”
His hand came down on my shoulder, holding me to the log gently. He probably understood how badly I wanted to jump up and run right now. “Come again?”
“It was a long time ago. Don’t even worry about it. You know how I have to verbalize a memory when I’m experiencing something similar to the first event.”
He swiveled and tipped my chin up to meet his confused gaze. “No, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I guess I’ve done a good job of hiding it all these years then.” I looked away to avoid his baby blues. They were too open and honest tonight. I was afraid to get sucked into the undertow of his emotions and drown there.
“Up until now.” He raised one brow toward the moon. “Is this something new you’re dealing with?”
“I’ve always had it,” I said on a shake of my head. “In the beginning, they thought I was just a precocious child, but your mom quickly realized it was some kind of cognitive association.”
“You see or hear something that reminds you of something in the past?”
