“So cold…”
Katie wished she had another cloak to cover him. Leaning down, she kissed his brow.
She didn’t know how long she sat there, pressing her hands against Wendel’s wound. It could have been seconds, minutes, or even hours. She barely took heed of the carriage stopping a few feet away and her brother’s shouts as he ran to her side. She hardly noticed the flash of lightning illuminating the night sky nor the crash of thunder that echoed around her. She scarcely heard the shouts of Wendel’s driver and footman, who’d arrived just after Thomas. She numbly watched as the men lifted Wendel into her brother’s carriage. She barely felt Frankie’s gentle hands guide her to the door of the conveyance or her brother’s strong arms as he helped her inside. She vaguely remembered the carriage ride back to Thomas’s townhouse and the rain that finally unleashed from the sky…
All she could think about was how everything was all her fault. And nothing would ever be the same again…
Chapter One
Late October 1825 ~ London, England
“Katie, you must come to the Duke of Clarence’s with us,” her sister-in-law, Frankie, coaxed. “It could be fun. If you’re not enjoying yourself, we can always leave early. I will use my pregnancy as an excuse.” Her blue eyes twinkled with puckish humor.
“Frankie, you haven’t let pregnancy deter you from any of the Season’s events.” Katie smiled. She adored her sister-in-law, who always managed to lift her spirits. “Why would anyone believe you now?”
“Probably because this child is growing so fast! Even though Thomas only allows me a waltz or two, it gives me a little exercise,” Frankie said cheerfully.
“Besides, this will be my darling wife’s last event for the Season,” her brother Thomas, Viscount Latham, said with a chuckle as he strode into the drawing room. “I’m insisting on it. I’m determined to leave for Sussex in the next few days. But I agree with Frankie, dear sister.” His handsome face reflected concern. “It’s been too long since you’ve allowed yourself any enjoyment. You must attend with us. It’ll be good for you.”
“Quite right,” the Dowager Viscountess Latham agreed, entering the drawing room behind Thomas. “I allowed the pretense of a headache last week for the Siebert’s ball, but our absence will disappoint the Dowager Duchess of Clarence, and she is one of my dearest friends. I insist on your attendance. Now, please go and get dressed.”
Frankie looped her arm conspiratorially through Katie’s. “It’s always the ton’s favorite event. We simply cannot miss it, Katie,” she said. “How about this? I’ll help you pick out a gown if you help me select a pair of comfortable shoes. Even if I cannot see the shoes on my feet, at least I’ll know they aren’t pinching!”
“I can help you, wife,” said Thomas, coming up beside Frankie and waggling his brows. “If your feet are swollen, I’ll just carry you everywhere…like now.” He swung her into his arms and twirled her about the room.
“Husband, I do not need that kind of help. You should put me down.” Frankie giggled, her auburn curls bouncing as she gave him a playful swat.
Katie’s heart twisted and her smile faltered. The teasing banter between Thomas and Frankie reminded her of what her own life could have been, if only…
She blinked back tears—it had been a little over a year since Wendel’s death and even though the gut-wrenching grief had subsided and she could get through the day without bursting into tears, the guilt still festered, and always would. How many times had she gone over that horrible night in her mind? How many times had she wished she’d just given the damn pearls to the thief?
The thought of attending the Duke of Clarence’s ball was the last thing on Katie’s mind. If she were being honest with herself, it wasn’t just about going to a ball without Wendel, it was about going anywhere at all.
Ever since that fateful night, Katie would practically break out in hives at the thought of going out—whether it was shopping on Bond Street, lemonade at Almack’s, or even just tea with her best friend Lucy and her cousin Paula. Hives, heart palpitations, and dizziness were just a few of the symptoms Katie experienced every time she had to venture outside the safety of her family’s townhouse in St. James.
The evil men who attacked her and Wendel that night had never been caught. Katie had not been able to recall enough details for Thomas and the private detective he’d hired to investigate. All she could recall was that there were three men. For so long, whenever she closed her eyes, all she saw was Wendel bleeding everywhere. There was so much blood. Two months ago, just before the anniversary of Wendel’s death, she had started having bad dreams.
In one of her dreams, Wendel appeared to her, covered in blood, lying in the middle of a busy street. She ran to his side and fell to her knees. In her dream, she couldn’t understand why people and carriages went by without stopping. He moved his lips, as though he were trying to tell her something. She leaned down but all she could hear was gurgling. She’d woken up screaming and shivering. Since then, she had begun to remember bits and pieces of what happened. Mostly vague and foggy images. It was as if her mind was telling her something, but what? So confused was she that she began keeping a diary. Although she’d noted everything, nothing had made much sense to her, so she’d kept it to herself. What could I tell?
Perhaps her bad dreams had more to do with the knowledge that those horrible men were still out there and that something like that could happen again. In the past fourteen months, Katie had gone through a litany of “if onlys”—if only she hadn’t insisted on stopping to chat with a friend. If only they had ridden with Thomas and Frankie, if only she had listened to Wendel and stayed behind him, if only she hadn’t resisted giving up her pearl necklace. If only she could have helped Wendel fight them off. If only. If only. If only…
“Please, my dearest, will you not come with us?” her mother pleaded softly, her eyes awash with tears.
Katie couldn’t stand to see her mother cry. She looked at the faces of her family, so full of love and concern.
The Duke of Clarence’s ball was one of the biggest events of the Season. Two years ago, Katie and Wendel had become betrothed shortly after the Clarence’s ball. Last year, no one in her family had gone because of Wendel’s death. Even though Katie dreaded attending this year, she could not let her family down. They had been so supportive of her, and they were right. She’d have to face Society again at some point. And she knew there was gossip among the ton about her and her late fiancé. But there was always gossip, and there always would be. Frankie’s idea could be a perfect compromise. Katie preferred moving forward on her terms and resigned herself to going.
For the sake of her family, she pasted a smile on her face. “Very well, I’ll go.” She turned to Frankie and Thomas. “Do you promise we can leave if—” she swallowed—“If I don’t feel well?”
“Of course! We would never push you past your limit,” Frankie soothed. “I completely understand how difficult this must be for you.”
“I’m so proud of you, dearest,” her mother said, kissing her cheek. “I think the Clarence ball will be an excellent opportunity for you to re-enter Society. Lucy and Paula will be there to support you.”
Katie nodded. Her friends would be there, but so would the rest of the ton. She hoped she could keep her anxiousness from overwhelming her.
“Viscount Thomas Latham, his wife Viscountess Frankie Latham, the Dowager Viscountess Marianna Latham, and her daughter Miss Kathleen Latham,” the butler announced from the ballroom entrance at the top of a grand staircase.
A noticeable hush descended upon the crowd as curious eyes turned toward the Latham family.
