He looked unconcerned. “I dinna even think yewoulddo it. I thought maybe women… dinna.”
My eyes went wide. “You don’t think women shite, Torin? What do you think happens to all the food we eat?”
“I daena ken. Ye dinna, so I thought ye dinna need tae.”
He brushed the crumbs off his hands. “Ikenlassescan,but I haena thought about it much, tis nae…” He grimaced and shook his head. “I canna believe tis necessary, tis too foul. Ye are a bonny lass.”
“Even the bonniest lasses must poop.”
Torin groaned, pulled the cork from the flask, and took a long drink. “I daena believe it.”
He passed me the bottle. “Hae some ale.”
I drank a little.
He watched me and added, “I think if a bonny lass such as yerselfmustshite, then surely tis a rare occurrence.”
I asked, “How often doyoushite?”
“As often as is needed.”
“Daily?”
“At least.”
“Well, that’s how often women are supposed to shite too.”
He grimaced comically. “Here I was with a verra pleasant life, thinkin’ only of the bonny fair lasses, with their sweet voices and fine smells, and now ye hae tae ruin it.”
“I am not ruining anything, Torin. You will get over it, it’s the human condition.”
He sighed, morosely. “I suppose I will hae tae accept it.”
He put the cork back in the bottle. “I am teasin’ ye, Princess, I knew it, I just prefer not tae think on it, but here I was, wondering why ye hadna.”
“I know, me too… This is way too much sharing. Should we get back on the horses?”
“Aye, we should, but first… Ye truly haena taken a shite in days?”
I shook my head.
“Nae wonder ye are as ornery as a trapped badger on a summer day. Ye ought tae take a shite.”
I theatrically wailed, “I can’t! What do you do, you know… if you can’t?”
He said, “Tis not an issue.”
“I need fiber. Like a salad or whole grains or… maybe a bath. I’m just so uncomfortable.”
“Ye wanna submerge yerself in the stream?”
I shivered. “No… it’s fine, let’s forget I said anything. It will probably be fine. I’ll poop any minute now and then it will be fine.”
“Nae on the horse.”
I smiled. “Not on the horse — right, Ferrari? I would never.” I wagged my finger between us. “Me and Ferrari have an understanding, I won’t do anything embarrassing, not anymore, and he won’t throw me into a ravine.”
“If ye hae come tae an understanding, we ought tae continue on.”
