I nodded.
“I agree,” Marcos said, as he walked into the living room.
“Where’d you go?” Maya asked.
“I got about 3 blocks down the road before I was sobbing too hard to see the road. I pulled over in front of Kara’s; Johnny and the guys came out to get me.”
I was a little shocked that he admitted that, but his gaze was intently on Maya’s.
Her little gasp was all I needed to know that she forgave him. She reached out to him and he went to her, falling to his knees between her spread legs. “I’m so sorry, Mi Vida. I’m so sorry.”
Maya slid her fingers through his hair and closed her eyes. I glanced at Nico and he shrugged. Both of us scooted down and rested our heads on Maya’s shoulders.
A happy smile tugged at her lips and she turned her attention back to the TV.
Nico
After we finished watching whatever action movie Maya had put on, she sighed and nudged Marcos to get him to move off her.
He slowly pulled away and I saw up close just how torn up he was. His eyes were puffy from crying, and he looked so broken.
Jason didn’t look much better either. His blond hair disheveled and sticking up randomly—he looked exhausted.
While Maya’s eyes were puffy from crying, she seemed lighter somehow, relaxed in a way that I haven’t seen her in years. It was breathtaking.
She was right. We needed this, despite how much it was hurting us. Maya deserved to get her truth heard, no matter how many years later it was. It was the only way forward for this relationship.
Marcos sat back on the coffee table and watched Maya.
Maya cleared her throat. “Look, I appreciate you guys apologizing, but that’s only the first step of this relationship moving forward. If we ever want to have any kind of dynamic again—and trust me I do—we need to clear the air about what went wrong in that scene, objectively. And not just that scene—there was a lot wrong with our relationship back then that was never addressed.”
I nodded. “Break it down.”
“Yes.” Maya nodded and took a deep breath. “I’ve spent the last eight years or so heavily involved in the kink community in Chicago. I joined a dungeon there, made some really good friends, but most of all, I educated myself in a way I wasn’t back then. I’ve learned a lot over the years, and I learned how badly the four of us—yes me included—screwed up back then.”
“The unnegotiated twenty-four-seven relationship,” Marcos said, his voice thick.
Maya nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, that one is blazingly obvious.”
“You weren’t able to speak to us freely, not really,” Jason added.
Maya sighed. “Yes, though I don’t think I realized it back then.”
“You were young,” I murmured. “We were so much older than you.”
“Six years isn’t that much,” Maya said.
“It is when you’re only twenty-four,” I shot back.
She shrugged a shoulder. “I didn’t realize until years later how much that might have played a part in things. Slipping into the full-time dynamic was easy and something I hadn’t realized until it was too late, but even then, I hadn’t minded at the time. Not until I realized how much agency I felt I gave up. I had to use my safe word during phone calls with you guys while I was at work. Toward the end there, it became too much.”
I swallowed, knowing she was right. Marcos and Jason looked contrite at least. It was mostly them she was talking about anyways. “The number one thing I learned though, was younever everrenegotiate during a scene.” Maya’s voice was steady and calm as she met Marcos’s gaze.
He gulped and held her stare, though I could see tears welling up in his eyes again.
“That was my biggest trigger during that scene and it sent me spiraling mentally. I thought you were breaking up with me. I should have called Red. I remember thinking if I called Red, and he really meant to break up with me, this is it. I told myself to finish the scene and you wouldn’t be so upset, that you wouldn’t break up with me if could just finish.”
“Fuck, Maya.” Marcos’s body shuddered as he stifled a sob.
