Maya wiped away her own tears and kept going. “So yes. No renegotiating during scenes. The other aspect was communication. I hadn’t been honest with you about my mental state, or my physical state. I wasn’t in the right headspace to have a scene.” She turned to Jason. “I hadn’t eaten anything that day. I tried, but I was too nauseous. At the time I thought I was too anxious, but looking back, I was probably already having morning sickness and didn’t realize.”
Jason sighed and grabbed her hand. “I should have saw that. I should have known that you were so emotionally distressed that your nerves would have been shot. It’s not going to happen again; we’re going to check in before any scene we have in the future.”
Maya nodded. “It was also a very long scene, incorporating elements that we had briefly talked about, we never fully discussed.”
“Had I known you hadn’t eaten, or were pregnant, I never would have drugged you,” Marcos said immediately.
“I know, Marc. I know.” She took his hand and laced their fingers together. Tears till poured down his face, but he was watching her with unflinching loyalty. “From everything I’ve learned from being in the kink community, the scene we did that night was something that most people wouldn’t attempt unless they’ve been in the community a long time. There were a lot of elements that, stacked together, just made things too long and maybe too much.”
“I should have use my safe word that night.” I finally spoke up.
Maya’s eyes snapped to mine and she shook her head. “I should have myself. I know that now.”
“You shouldn’t have had to,” I insisted. “It should not have gone that far.” I shot a look at my brothers, both of whom looked ashamed. “As your Doms, it is our job to ensure your safety. It was our responsibility to look after you, protect you. It was our job to make sure you had everything you needed and were cherished. We failed you.”
“He’s absolutely right, Maya.” Jason agreed. “I failed you as a Dom. You deserved better.”
“You do deserve better.” Marcos spoke softly, his voice raspy. “I’m going to try to be a better man for you and Luke. It’s funny; I talked to him at Johnny’s - he told me I was a great father, but I needed to be a better boyfriend to you.”
Maya gasped and covered her mouth as she both smiled and tears welled in her eyes.
“He was right. I need to figure out how to be a better man for you. Johnny told me about a dungeon or sex club here. I guess it’s run by the Seratellis?” Marcos’s raised an eyebrow at me. “Sinister Desires?”
“I’ve heard of it,” Maya said. “I go to the sister club in Chicago, Delicate Desires.”
My mouth opened to speak, but I didn’t have anything to say. My cousin’s empire had expanded vastly in the last ten years. There was a lot I didn’t know anymore. I was shocked. I’d have to reach out to Leo about it.
“Anyways, Johnny told me I should go to a couple Dom classes there. Relearn some things,” Marcos continued.
“I’m down,” I said immediately.
“Me too,” Jason added.
Maya laughed lightly. “I’d definitely like to check things out. Like I said, I frequented the Chicago location often. It’s actually how I met my therapist - through a friend at the club. She’s actually a sex therapist. She was able to help me break through some of the pain over the years and helped me deep dive into what went wrong back then.”
“I’m glad you found a community you felt safe in, Little Dreamer.” I squeeze her hand before I bring it to my lips and kiss the back of it.
“Me too,” Jason said, resting his hand on her thigh. “I’ve been watching videos about things online, trying to relearn things as well. It’ll be nice to be able to ask questions.”
Maya smiled. “I’m glad you guys are open to learning more.”
“Of course, Little Dreamer. Sexy education, here we come!” I joked, trying to get her to laugh.
It worked. Her light laughter was a balm for my weary soul. “Why don’t we take a break? We can help you decorate thehouse, then maybe later we can do a nice dinner and talk about what our dynamic will be in the future?”
Maya smiled brightly. “Yeah, that sounds great. I think we all need a break.” She looked at Marcos and Jason.
Both men sighed heavily and nodded. “Yeah.”
Maya leaned in and hugged and kissed them both, before she turned to me with a bright smile. “You always know what to say,” she murmured.
I leaned forward and kissed her soundly. I held her jaw to angle her face and deepen the kiss. “I love you, Little Dreamer. You’re the strongest person I know.”
She was breathless as she pulled away, a blush covering her cheeks. “I love you too, Nic.”
Maya
Theafternoonwasmagical.We ran out to the hardware store to pick up more decorations. The guys were really feeling the vibe I was going for with the old Victorian home, and they even picked up one of those twelve-foot skeletons. When we finished, we washed up and changed our clothes before heading out for dinner—at an actual sit-down restaurant with tablecloths. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been out to eat without Luke.
