“Fucking Christ.” Nico’s sob broke out of him and he grabbed me, hauling me into his lap. “I’m sorry, Maya. I’m so, so, sorry.” His body shook as he held me tightly to his body.
Through my tears, I looked over at Marcos and Jason, and both of them looked like they saw a ghost. Regret and anguish shown on their faces. Marcos looked like he was on the verge of freaking out.
I couldn’t help him through this though. He needed to hear it all. I hated that I was hurting them so deeply, but I was done keeping things from them to spare their feelings. It might keep them safe, but it didn’t do us any good in the long run. We were a team. They could share the burden, the weight of the feelings I’ve been carrying for the last ten years.
The truth.
“Somehow, I made it downstairs to my bag. Once I had the IV fluids, I felt better. Then I was pissed.” I laughed ruefully. “I went to make myself something to eat, knowing I needed nutrients, and the fucking refrigerator was empty. I had spent a week on nights and no one else in this house had gone grocery shopping. I was so fucking pissed when I dragged myself out of the house. My heart was broken that my Doms hadn’t thought about aftercare, hadn’t thought to even check on me or stay with me when it was clear that you knew I was hypothermic.” I shook my head, unable to look at them. The pain and heart break resurfacing. “All I kept thinking about wasreevaluate and renegotiate.”
“Maya,” Marcos gasped. He covered his face with his hands and hunched over as his shoulders shook.
Jason looked sick, pale and green, and wide-eyed as he stared at me.
“When I was at the grocery store, Dax found me. He cornered me against the freezers and told me to leave town.” I looked Jason in the eye as I spoke.
Nico squeezed me tighter.
“He said that if I didn’t leave town, then he was going to kill the three of you.” I took another shuddering breath and then looked away from Jason and took a sip of water.
Nico rocked me gently as he sniffled into the crook of my neck. “Fucking hell, Maya,” Nico breathed.
Marcos’s fingers gripped his short hair—hair that he was finally growing out for me.
I swallowed the cool water and took a deep breath. “I was more angry, than I was scared after encountering Dax. I had told him to fuck off, and vowed to myself that I would tell you guys immediately. I went home and got ready for the party at the club. I still didn’t feel that well, I was nauseas all day. I tried to call you guys and tell you that I wasn’t coming, but none of you answered your phones.”
“Darlin’.”
I shook my head, cutting him off. I stared at Marcos instead. “I went down to the clubhouse then. My heart was already broken, I didn’t know what to think, those fucking words were on repeat in my fucking head all day:reevaluate and renegotiate.”
Marcos finally raised his head to meet my gaze, as if he could sense my stare. He looked a wreck. His face blotchy and his eyes puffy. My heart hurt to see it.
I spoke to him as I continued. “I went down to the clubhouse then. I saw Trish touching you, hanging off your arm. I saw youallowingit. And I fucking snapped.” I huffed a laugh and shook my head. “The whole time during our fight, she kept spouting off shit about Dax and how he was going to kill the three of you and share me with his crew. I was going to kill her. I wasn’t going to stop until she was dead.” My voice had grown hoarse as I spoke,a soft gravely rasp. I stared at Marcos with disappointment in my eyes. “All I could think about was how you allowed her to touch you, after leaving me for dead at home.”
He flinched as if he’d been slapped.
“And then you pulled me off her and were yelling at me, like I was the one in the wrong. I realized that we had gotten so far off course in our relationship, I didn’t even know if I wanted to save it.” I let out a small sob and looked away from him.
“Baby,” Nico whimpered and held me tighter. I curled up in his arms and rested my head against his chest, turning so I was tucked in the fetal position, facing Marcos and Jason.
“I got sick when I got home. I hadn’t been able to keep anything down all day, despite the IV. Then after that you guys came home, Nico was arrested, and you guys left me alone—again.”
Jason hung his head into his hands as he hunched over and rested his elbows on his knees. “Maya,” he groaned my name, like he was in pain.
“The next morning when all I had was another text message from Marcos, stating that Dax had framed Nico, I knew I couldn’t do it anymore. He was too powerful. He could get to us anywhere. My work, the clubhouse, on the street. I knew the only way to protect you guys, was to leave. So, I packed up everything I could…and left.” My voice was dead by the time I finished. My heart is broken all over again.
The guys look utterly defeated.
“After I’d been at Jenna’s a week and had been sick the entire time, she made me take a test. I didn’t know what to do, and I was so fucking scared of Hillcrest…so I stayed away.”
Marcos let out a deep, heart wrenching sob that tore at my soul.
I wanted to go to him, but I couldn’t. I didn’t know what to do.
He stood up abruptly and swiftly left the room. I heard the back door slam as he left the house.
I sighed and tried to get up from Nico’s lap.
“Let him go,” Nico muttered. “He needs space right now.”
