I was never left fully alone, though, since the last time.
Jason and Marcos often left for work, leaving me with Nico a lot. They were in the process of changing their automotive shop over to specialize in motorcycles - something they both enjoyed more than working on cars. Nico didn’t really care for either, though. He really came alive when he assisted the trainers at Telli’s. He had a knack for both personal training and teaching classes, especially with kids.
Twice a week after school we brought Luke over to the gym. He joined the youth boxing league and was training for a match coming up in December. Luke also went to therapy twice a week and was just recently talking about joining football again.
In the evenings, we watched a movie or TV together as a family in the living room. We took turns on who picked, but usually it was between Luke and I, and half the time I let him pickbecause he watched it more than I did. I spent the time cuddling someone—either my guys or Luke—and split between watching whatever was on and reading my book.
It was relaxing. Things felt normal for once.
My mother and I finally hashed out a couple things since I moved out, and while we weren’t close, we weren’t estranged either. The biggest thing was that I didn’t like how I ended up at the guys’ home without a conversation from her. It felt like she’d kicked me out again, and that broke my heart.
In the end, Elaine told me I would always be welcomed back home, but she was glad that I had a place with my guys. Therapy made me realize that while my mother would never change, our relationship didn’t need to be one of contention. Marcos and my mother’s relationship was interesting, though. He checked in with her once a day and had prospects driving her around and delivering groceries. The Devil’s Psychos prospects were becoming a whole geriatric service in themselves, and Elaine made sure to tell Marcos any mishaps that might have transpired—by her own machinations or the prospects fucking up.
Life was finally settling intonormaland I loved every minute of it. The only thing that was stillnot quite rightwas our lack of sex life. We still had so much to discuss regarding that last scene from ten years ago and how to move forward as a unit.
Thankfully, my guys were on the same page, because Marcos scheduled for Luke to spend the weekend at Kara’s this weekend. We dropped him off early this Saturday morning and Kara had plans taking him to the zoo with Lilah and her guys. Luke would spend the night, giving us some much-needed privacy.
October had rolled in and the leaves were changing colors and spooky vibes were in the air. My old Victorian home felt magical as I spent the late morning decorating for the season. “Hey,Little Dreamer, it’s almost lunch time. I thought we could eat together, then sit down and have that conversation.”
I sighed and nodded, looking away from the spider webs I was separating to wrap around the porch at some point. The conversation was the whole point of today, but I had distracted myself by decorating and now I was in the zone.
Nico laughed. “We’ll help you after we talk.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I grumble playfully.
We needed this conversation to happen; we couldn’t keep putting it off.
In the kitchen, Marcos had a pot of shaved roast beef simmering in au jus on the stove. There was an open bag of sliced French bread and a bag mozzarella cheese on the counter beside the stack of plates. “Smells good.” I smiled as I walked into the kitchen. Marcos and Jason were already sitting at the table eating.
“Got yours here,” Marcos said.
I looked over to see a plate already made up in my usual spot at the table. “Thanks, I’m suddenly starving.” My stomach let out a loud grumble as I walked over to the sink to wash my hands.
During lunch we mostly talked about Luke and Halloween. We discussed his upcoming birthday a little, but short of inviting his Chicago friends down for the weekend and having a party at the house, there wasn’t much to figure out yet.
I ate quickly, needing to get to the conversation part of the day. This felt all too much like our first negotiations all those years ago, and my heart ached for the nostalgia. I was no naïve going into that negotiation. This time around, I was more jaded—for sure—but also way more knowledgeable.
Finally, we sat down at the sectional in the living room, all of us spreading out to give each other space. I sat in the corner of the sectional and picked up a throw pillow to play with thetassels on the edges to give my hands something to do while we dug deep into the emotional conversation.
“How do you want to start this, Little Dreamer?” Nico asked, crossing one leg over the other and resting his ankle on his knee. He sat closest to me, but gave me space to spread my legs out if I wanted.
Jason and Marcos sat to my right, with Marcos closest. Both men turned to face me and I sighed, knowing this was going to my show—my negotiation this time around.
“I think we need to start at the beginning with the night the mayor was shot and move on through that last scene we had. I think I need to explain where my head was at throughout all of that. That last week I was here was hard.” I took a shaky breath.
“OK, Darlin’,” Jason murmured, his eyes on mine as he nodded once.
Nico’s hand landed on my knee and I gave him a grateful smile before I turned back to Marcos and Jason. I was more worried about their reactions than Nico’s, honestly. Not that I was worried about Marc or Jase not believing me, but more like the devastation I was about to cause them. They hadn’t seen all sides back then, not like Nico had.
“Can you guys just let me get it all out first, before you say anything? I just really need to get this out in one go…otherwise I don’t think I will.”
“Of course, Little Dreamer. We’ll be quiet,” Nico said.
Marcos and Jason nodded as well.
I swallowed thickly. “Most of this we’ve already talked about, but for the sake of starting at the beginning, I’m just gonna start there. The night the mayor died, I had gotten off shift in the middle of the night. It was pouring rain and I needed gas. I texted you guys that I was leaving and headed out, only to witness the mayor and Dax speeding into the gas station while I pumped gas. I was terrified when I saw Dax shoot the mayor. Ididn’t know who either one of them was at the time, only that I had witnessed a hit. I found out a couple days later who exactly he was and that it was the mayor he killed.” I take another deep breath and squeeze the pillow. “Anyways, Dax saw me and got into my space, threatening me. I was so fucking scared, and I believed him. Then a week later, you two were shot.” I looked up at Marcos and Jason, meeting their gaze.
They both swallowed and nodded at me.
