Alex’s eyes lit up. ‘They’re loud and messy and have absolutely zero filters. The first thing Mum’ll do when I land is look me up and down and sayHave you lost weight?’
I laughed. Whoever Alex was impersonating, it couldn’t have been his mother. There wasn’t a woman on earth who sounded like that.
‘Grandma will ask me when I plan on getting married, whether I have a girlfriend or not.’
‘And do you?’
‘Have a girlfriend?’ Alex looked at me direct. ‘No. I don’t.’
I felt my cheeks redden. ‘And Avery?’ My voice cracked. ‘What will she do?’
‘Avery will stand there while her out of control brood charge and tackle me to the ground.’
Easily picturing the scene, I sighed, wistful. ‘Sounds perfect.’ Back to sitting in silence, I wondered what life would’ve been like if it hadn’t been just me and Gran. I wondered if I’d be lucky enough to one day grow a big family of my own.
‘You know what we need?’ Alex suddenly asked.
I indicated my almost empty glass. ‘Another drink?’
He got down from his seat and, pulling his mobile out of his pocket, grinned. ‘Music.’
‘You’re kidding me?’
He tapped his phone screen and as Wizard’s ‘I Wish it Could be Christmas EveryDay’ began to play, he ramped up the volume. Laying his phone down on the bar, Alex held out his hand for me to take.
‘You’re asking me to dance?’
‘I am.’ He swung his hips to and fro in time with the beat. ‘Come on.’ He winked at me. ‘You know you want to.’
Watching his shoulders sway back and forth, I laughed, unable to remember the last time I’d given myself up to gay abandon.
I recalled how on Sunday mornings Gran would turn up the radio to sing and dance her heart out while she prepared lunch. She was tone deaf and sounded like out-of-tune trombone, but she didn’t care; she was having fun. As Alex continued to entice me, I heard Gran’s voice telling me to go ahead; after the evening I’d had, I deserved to let loose.
I jumped down onto my feet and taking Gran’s advice, accepted Alex’s hand. Losing myself in the moment, all my stresses and strains dissipated. The two of us danced to one Christmas tune after another. Not only could Alex move, unlike me who’d inherited Gran’s somewhat unique tone and tenor, he could sing. His vocal range was impressive.
The tempo changed as the introduction to Alexandra Burke’s ‘Hallelujah’ kicked in. Alex’s gaze met mine and as we both fell quiet, a seriousness descended. As Alex stepped towards me, I knew I should look away, crack a joke, go and sit down… anything to break the spell. But I did nothing.
Alex took my hand and clasping it, he pulled me close. I felt his other palm on the small of my back and letting him guide me, we gently swayed from side to side. Breathing in his scent of sandalwood and spices, my chest felt light and, lifting my gaze, Alex stared back at me with an intenseness I’d never experienced before. As the final song of his playlist, it came to end, but as if in a trance we carried on dancing.
The bubble that surrounded us suddenly burst, and coming back to my senses, I quickly let go of Alex and took a step back. ‘I’m sorry.’ I grabbed my coat and bag. ‘I should go.’ Running to the door, I slid open its bolt and without looking back, rushed out into the darkness.
CHAPTER19
As I sat at the till awaiting my next customer, I needed something to kick start me into picking up my needles. Page after page, I flicked through a pattern book hoping inspiration would strike. I slapped it shut. Nothing grabbed my attention.
I opened the paper bag that had lain untouched on the counter since lunch. Made with the freshest ingredients, it seemed even The Beanery’s mushroom, mozzarella and pesto sandwich couldn’t lift my spirits. I grimaced, discarding it again. With zero appetite, I wondered why I’d bought it in the first place. My mind and body were clearly reeling from the emotional roller coaster I’d been on.
I let out a loud frustrated growl. Christmas was fast approaching. I should have been looking forward to cosying up with Gideon in front of the fire, eating my body weight in chocolate and stocking up on tissues ready for when Alan Rickman does the dirty on Emma Thompson. Instead, I was having to wrap my head around marriage proposals, hospital dashes, reruns of Gran’s death, and a clandestine dance with Alex. I cringed… especially the dance with Alex.
I recalled the feel of his hand in mine, the gentle pressure on my lower back, and rhythm of Alex’s heart as I rested my head against his chest. Like magic, he’d drawn me into his gaze to the point I was transfixed. No man had ever looked at me with such fervour. Not even Gideon when hours earlier, he’d been about to propose. Alex both scared and excited me, when what I needed was to feel safe.
Safe? Where’s the fun in that?Gran asked.
Refusing to answer her, I shook my mind free. Knowing I’d have to confront everything and everyone at some point, I was determined to delay the inevitable for as long as possible.
Picking up my phone, I checked the screen, wondering if I should message Joyce for an update on Richard. The last I’d heard he was waiting for more test results. Reassuring myself with the adageno news is good news,I put my phone back down. The last thing my friend needed was me bothering her; she’d be in touch when she was ready.
I frowned. As would Gideon. Having had no contact from him since he’d dropped me at the hospital, I wondered what he was playing at. For all he knew I could’ve been helping Joyce plan a funeral.
