A lump formed in my throat, but I swallowed it down. ‘You must think I’m bonkers. One minute I’m whingeing to you about Gideon. In the next I’m rambling on about some ridiculous date. And here I am now about to cry into my drink.’ I sighed at how pathetic I must’ve seemed. ‘Tonight just brought it all back. You know, the day Gran died.’
Alex reached out and ran his hand up and down my spine.
‘It was so sudden. A stupid fall that shouldn’t have led to…’ A tear ran down my cheek and I wiped it away. ‘Instead of moving in, you should be running for the hills.’
Alex dropped his hand. ‘Actually, I wanted to…’ He paused, as if not sure he should continue.
‘Go on,’ I said, thinking he should.
‘Forget it. It doesn’t matter.’
‘Alex, you’ve started so you may as well finish.’
He twisted his glass between his palms. ‘I’m just not sure it’s a good idea.’
With him needing to be out of The Royal Oak in a couple of weeks and me in need of the extra cash, I’d thought it a perfect solution for both of us. I shifted round a little in my seat to face him. ‘Since when?’
Alex sipped on his drink.
‘Is this because of Gideon?’ I asked. ‘Because if it is, you needn’t worry. Like I said, he’s admitted he behaved badly. He doesn’t know what got into him, and nor do I.’
Alex raised his eyebrows, making it clear he wasn’t convinced.
‘Besides, as I’ve also said before, it’s up to me who I have living inmyflat. No one else.’
Realising my tone was unfair, I fell quiet. Putting myself in Alex’s shoes, his reluctance was understandable. Being new to the area, of course the last thing he’d want was any kind of trouble. I faced forward again. ‘Look, I get it. And whether you move in or not, that’s up to you.’
Alex put his glass to his lips, as if trying to hide his smile. ‘You don’t say.’
I knew he was teasing me and, leaning in, I gave him a playful shoulder bump. ‘All I’m saying is, don’t imagine problems where there aren’t any. There’s a room at mine if you want it. Just let me know what you decide when you’re ready.’ I raised my glass. ‘Deal?’
Alex raised his. ‘Deal.’
We both drank to seal our agreement.
‘I’m sorry for turning up like this,’ I said. ‘The truth is, I didn’t want to be on my own. Having your own place is great, until it isn’t. Sometimes it gets lonely.’ Realising how that might sound, I looked at Alex, mortified. ‘Please don’t take that the wrong way. That wasn’t an attempt to pressurise you into a rental agreement.’
Alex laughed. ‘I know exactly what you meant. I also live on my own remember.’ He fell quiet for a moment. ‘You must miss your Gran?’
I took a deep breath and exhaled. ‘Always. But tonight especially.’ I glanced his way. ‘I really envy you.’
‘Me?’ Alex appeared surprised. ‘Why?’
‘For having a mum and a sister and a grandma who knits you scarves.’
‘Don’t forget my three nieces and one nephew. They’d never forgive you if you did.’
I smiled. ‘That’s my point. When life gets tough, you have people around to distract you. To help put things into perspective. You must be looking forward to seeing them.’
‘I am.’ Alex gave me a knowing look. ‘But after five minutes in their company, I’ll be wishing I was back here.’
I prodded Alex’s arm. ‘You don’t mean that.’
He chuckled. ‘Oh, I do.’
I still didn’t believe him.
‘Tell me about them,’ I said.
