She turned to look at us, stopping Fin and me in our tracks, and ignoring my words, squealed in delight. “You’ve both made me so happy.”
Dad turned too. His expression full of mock desperation, as if knowing he was never going to hear the end of it.
Mum chattered, revelling in her good fortune as she and Dad headed for their car, got in and drove away, while Fin and I stood in silence waving them off. My parents’ vehicle disappeared, and, at last, we closed the door on the outside world.
As we retraced our steps back to the kitchen, I couldn’t believe the week I was having. On the one hand, I’d been caught up in a high-speed whirlwind, on the other I seemed to have experienced the longest six days of my life, so much had happened.
First I was going on the holiday of a lifetime, then I wasn’t. I had a temporary house guest, who turned into a longer-term house guest… and the hottest star in TV cookery. A TV star who I’d been about to have sex with. I’d planned a staycation that involved locking myself away from civilisation for ten whole days of blissful solitude, which had suddenly gone fromme timetodon’t knock, just let yourself intime. And to top it off, I had a heavily pregnant hormonal sister who had developed paranoid tendencies regarding our mother.Merry bloody Christmas,I thought to myself.
“I need a drink,” I said, as we entered the room.
“I think I’ll join you,” Fin replied.
While he took a bottle of wine out of the fridge, I got a couple of glasses from the cupboard. Drinks poured, we sat at the table in silence, as if neither of us knew quite what to say.
Fin appeared pensive, his usual confidence seemingly gone. I waited for him to broach the subject of his stardom. After all, his quiet on the matter was rather pointless considering Mum had outed him for his celebrity status.
“I’m sorry,” he eventually said. “I should have told you.”
“Why didn’t you?” I asked, twiddling my wine glass back and forth between my hands. I might have already known Fin’s secret, but I was still interested to know why he had kept it to himself.
He drank a mouthful of wine. “Lots of reasons. You probably wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me,” I said, before putting my glass to my mouth.
He took a deep breath as if gathering his thoughts. “To start with, you saw Roberta.”
I scowled.Boy, did I.That woman didn’t seem to know the meaning of the worddiscretion.All that fluttering of her eyelashes, the sickly-sweet voice, both from the second she met Fin. The woman clearly had no shame. As for her sugar request… My eyes were automatically drawn to the offending cupboard, knowing there weren’t many people around who’d had the pleasure of being stuffed into such a small space, forced to listen in on other people’s conversations. Yet one more thing to add to my list of that week’s reasons to be cheerful.
“And then there was your Mum just then.”
I frowned, wondering what he meant by that. I felt defensive on Mum’s behalf. I, of all people, knew my mother could be an oddball and it had been pretty evident to everyone concerned that she’d struggled to suppress her enthusiasm at meeting Fin. However, she was hardly in the same category as my self-serving neighbour. “Mum is nothing like Roberta,” I said. “Just because she asked you for your autograph and to have her photo taken with you…”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Oh. Then what did you mean?”
“That it’s just nice to be me sometimes. Without having to smile for the camera.”
“Well as long as we’ve got that straight.”
“People have a distorted impression of who I am and that’s the version everyone wants to meet. I don’t blame them, of course. Why would anyone expect me to be any different from the man zooming into their living room every week. I’m just not sure how to handle all the attention. To find that balance of giving people what they want, while being true to myself. If I’m honest, I find it a bit terrifying. People invest in that show.”
I considered my day’s viewing, unable to deny the man had a point on that score.
“And the last thing I want is to let anyone down.” He paused to take another drink. “I’m not sure I’m explaining myself very well.”
“No, I get it. Sort of.” Although I wasn’t sure if I should feel sorry for the man or shake him. There were people with far worse problems to contend with than fame and fortune.
“And then there’s you.”
“Okay,” I said. The way Fin was talking, I dreaded to think what he was about to say. “What about me?”
“With you, everything is real. Around you Icanbe myself because there are no expectations. Or at least there weren’t when you didn’t know all this stuff.”
“Who says I didn’t?”
“Well, did you?” He tilted his head and raised an eyebrow. “Youcanremember what you were wearing when we first met, can’t you?”
