“Rubbish!” Mum said, refusing to hear a word of it. “If you’re not going on holiday of course you’re coming to us for Christmas.”
Fin returned with a plate of digestives and placed them in the middle of the table. Re-taking his seat, he picked up his tea again and began drinking.
Mum smiled. “And your boyfriend can come too.”
Fin nearly choked for a second time.
I closed my eyes for a second, wishing Mum hadn’t just said that. Especially when I couldn’t deny the relationship status she’d just bestowed, not after the way my parents had just walked in on us.
“Mum,” I said. With no choice but to move the conversation on, I was determined to at least clarify that I would not be changing my plans for Christmas Day yet again.
“Which reminds me,” she said to Fin, interrupting my protest before it began. “We haven’t been properly introduced.”
Dad picked up the mantle. “This is Maz,” he said, indicating Mum.
“Excuse me,” Mum said. “Sunday names, please. We don’t want this young man thinking we’re riff-raff.
Please don’t,I silently pleaded.
“Sorry, love,” he said, starting again. “This is Mary.” He indicated my mother.
I cringed, knowing after what was about to follow, Fin would never let me live it down.
“And I’m Joseph.” Dad held his hand out.
Fin’s eyes widened as he accepted Dad’s gesture. He looked my way as if asking if my parents were for real, before returning his attention to them. “Pleased to meet you…” He paused.
I could see he was doing his utmost not to laugh.
“Mary and Joseph.”
“And you are?” Dad asked.
“Oh, sorry yes,” he said, needing to take control of his voice. “I’m Fin. It’s short for Finlay.”
“Now you’ve just got Holly’s sister to meet,” Mum said.
Oh, Lordy,I thought.
“You’ll like Ivy.”
“Excuse me?” Fin asked. He put his elbow on the table and rested his hand against his mouth to hide his sniggering.
“Holly’s sister,” Mum said. “Ivy.”
Fin turned to look at me again, biting down on his finger clearly to stop himself from laughing out loud.
Not that his reaction surprised me. My sister and I had been putting up with the same kind of response since we were children. Fin obviously hadn’t realised what Vee was short for, and as I looked from Fin, who was desperately trying not to lose control, to Mum and Dad, in their matching Santa outfits, I wanted to hang my head in shame for having what had to be the most embarrassing family on the planet.
“Hang on a minute,” Mum said, as if her mind was suddenly somewhere else. “Fin. Fin. Finlay. Finlay Mc…” She slowly turned to look at him, her excitement growing in front of everyone’s eyes. “Oh. My. Word,” she said. “It’s you.”
Fin’s sniggering stopped.
26
“Ican’t believe it, Joe,” Mum said as she and Dad headed down the hall to the front door. “Not only are we back to having the whole family over for Christmas Day like we always do, we’ll have an eminent TV chef dining with us too.” She giggled, clearly excited at having finally got what she’d wanted and more.
I rolled my eyes as Fin and I followed behind. “Neither of us actually agreed to that, Mum,” I said.
