Millicent was in her mid-70s with an impeccable white updo and gimlet gray eyes. I absolutelyloathedher.
“Oh, how sweet,” the birthing instructor said, gesturing at Astrid and I. “It looks like you’re due at the same time. And you live next door to each other? I bet your babies will be best friends!”
She began to demonstrate the breathing exercises we could use during labor as Astrid glared at me.
“Finn not here?” she asked me snottily as Ambrose carefully arranged his mother’s purse, parasol, and small violent dog beside her. “I guesssomewomen just can’t keep a man.”
“He had something to do this afternoon,” I replied politely, turning aside to concentrate on my breathing.
Pant-pant-blow
Pant-pant-blow
I am a vessel of love and peace
“Indigo! Indi!” Ambrose hissed, replacing Astrid on the birthing ball beside me as she went to get a drink of water.
“Go away,” I hissed back. “You’re being a real weirdo, Ambrose.”
“I need to talk to you,” he said out of the corner of his mouth.
“You’re pissing off your mother,” I retorted, feeling her death ray stare on me.
“Indi, please—you don’t realize how you’re torturing me.”
“Because I’m with a younger man now? Get aholdof yourself!”
I stood up and took my birthing ball to the far corner of the classroom.
I did not want to hear whatever bullshit Ambrose had to say.
Pant-pant-blow
Pant-pant-blow
I am a vessel of love and peace
When the class was over, I didn’t wait around, but grabbed my bag and was the first one outside in the parking lot.
It was empty except for Ambrose’s dad and me.
My former father-in-law Harold was a thin, nervous man, his balding head covered with a stupendous toupee because my mother-in-law insisted he not be seen in public without one.
Before he retired, he had been a successful CEO of a model train company, but in private life he was dominated by my giant eldritch horror of a mother-in-law.
“How are you doing, my dear?” Harold asked, bounding over to clasp my hand affectionately.
“I’m doing well,” I said, giving him a quick hug.
He had always been literally theonlygood and kind member of Ambrose’s family.
His little spectacles quivered in time with his tiny mustache, while his pale blue eyes glinted with unshed tears.
“I’m so happy to see you thriving.”
“Not allowed inside?” I asked sympathetically and he sighed gustily.
“Millicent said I was to stay outside and make sure no uncouth person touched our Rolls-Royce.”
