Elinor moistened her lips. “You can’t have known,” she said. “We haven’t touched even once since then. When you look at me—”
“I see you,” he said. “Elinor Tregarth. Brave and witty and caring and strong—the strongest person I’ve ever met. Oh, the appearance is wrong most of the time nowadays, but…” He shook his head and took another step. Then he reached out as if to touch her face—but his fingers hovered an inch away, as if waiting for permission. “It’syou,” he repeated softly.
Elinor couldn’t breathe. His fingers were so close; his eyes so intent on hers. And his expression…
“I thought I’d lost you,” he whispered. “I thought I’d met you just long enough to regret you forever.”
She was crying again. But she was moving, too.
Elinor stepped forward, into his arms.
Chapter 25
Sir Jessamyn, of course, protested. But it took only a moment to set him down on the boulder, and he never minded stretching out to sun himself at leisure on a warm day.
As for Elinor… It was no wonder people tossed aside everything for love, she thought dizzily. Who needed food or drink, compared to this?
She could have kissed Benedict forever in the wilderness. The trees and plants around them rustled in the soft, warm breeze, and sunlight caressed her skin as Elinor wrapped herself around him, discovering a wholly unexpected core of wildness inside herself. Benedict’s kiss was more intoxicating than any wine she’d ever sipped; his thick hair softer against her hands than she had imagined; his arms warm and strong around her.
And Benedict himself…
He drew back, panting and laughing, and cupped her cheek in one big hand while he wrapped his other arm around her waist. “It reallyisyou,” he said. “No flickering between different faces anymore. Just you, and me.”
“Just us together,” Elinor said, and felt wonder nearly break her open. “You really wanted it to be me?”
“Are you actually jesting, at such a moment?” He shook her lightly, his eyes sparkling. “Look at me, Elinor Tregarth. Do you think there’s any chance in the world that I am feelingdisappointedright now?”
“No.” Elinor laughed breathlessly. “I only…” A bird squawked raucously overhead, making her jump. It was a great black crow, settling onto one of the long, knobbled branches of the tree nearby, and Elinor sucked in a breath at the reminder.Crow...The word even sounded in her head with Penelope’s contemptuous intonation, repeated so many times with such vicious precision.You look just like a crow. You’re such a crow. You…
She looked up at Benedict grinning down at her, and with an effort of willpower, she set the words aside—for good, she hoped. “No,” said Elinor, and shook her head. “You’re not disappointed.”
“I should say not.” He kissed her again, as if he couldn’t help himself. She couldn’t help herself either as she melted against him. He tasted like salt and sweetness and everything that she had ever wanted but known she couldn’t have.
She couldn’t have…The words took shape and resonated with horrible force inside her. She shoved them aside.
He rested his forehead against hers. Their noses bumped companionably. “Anyway,” he murmured, “I shouldn’t dare be disappointed in the great Mrs. De Lacey, should I? I’ve seen you stare down enough challengers, these past few days. Utterly terrifying!”
He was laughing as he said it—but it broke the spell. She pulled back, fighting to catch her breath. “Wait,” she said. “Wait.”
“For what? I’ve been waiting three days already. No, four days—ever since we met. Ever since that first moment when I saw you walk towards me covered in mud and holding your chin up like an empress. I’m so grateful Aubrey wasn’t clever enough to get out of the carriage himself and fall under your spell.” He leaned back in, his breath warm against her lips—but she pushed him back.
“Wait!” She stepped back herself, forcing her hands to let go of him. Her palms felt cold, parted from his warmth. “We cannot do this!”
“Whyever not?” Frowning at her, he shifted closer. “I’m not actually betrothed to Penelope, remember? I’m not even trying to betroth myself to Penelope. Thank God, the Armitages made that impossible. I take back everything I said before. I’d shake Gavin Armitage’s hand to thank him if he were here. The only person in the world I want to marry is—”
“Stop!” Elinor’s voice broke on the word. She wrapped her arms around her chest and turned away. She couldn’t look at his face while she said this. She didn’t want to say it. She didn’t want it to be true.
But it seemed that a lifetime of common sense couldn’t be thrown away so easily after all…not even for love.
“We cannot marry,” she said, “and you know it. I have no dowry. Soon, you’ll have no income and no home, either. How could we possibly marry?”
“We’ll think of something.” Benedict’s voice was quieter and more subdued than before, but he didn’t move away. “We have to think of something. If I—”
“And what of your brothers?” Elinor said. “Not to mention your five-year-old niece? What willtheydo, while we think of something for ourselves? Do you truly think you can forget them?”
“I don’t want to forget them,” Benedict said. “For God’s sake—!” He cut himself off with a jerk and spun around to glare at the ivy-covered stone wall of the wilderness.
Elinor waited through his silence. She wouldn’t cry. Not anymore.
