I have no idea why Bernadette Farmer’s face pops into my head when I think about how I don’t feel like dealing with real estate just yet. “I’m still deciding if I should rent or own next, actually. Thanks, though.”
“Okay, let me know.” He scrunches up his face. “Well, now that you’re single, I feel obligated to tell you that I have a female friend from college who wants to meet you. I brought her to the Christmas party last year, but she said that seeing how gorgeous your girlfriend was just made her want to cry. She wants to marry you and have your babies, actually. I’m ninety percent certain she won’t even kill me when she finds out I told you that.”
I really don’t appreciate that I get some phantom whiff of Bernadette’s fragrance all of a sudden. Now I’m not only picturing her face, but also her perky breasts. They aren’t particularly large, but they seem so…friendly. And now I’m thinking about the outline of her nipples beneath the fabric of that dress she was wearing when I met her, and even under that T-shirt she wore when I was in her apartment. And now my dick is getting hard while I’m talking to Lloyd on the way to lunch.
That woman needs to stay in her apartment and out of my thoughts.
I clench my fists, finally remembering to respond to Lloyd. “Thanks, but I don’t think I’m ready for that yet.”
“Okay, let me know. She would probably also be happy being your sex slave.”
“You probably shouldn’t go making offers like that on behalf of other people.”
“It’s just that she literally said that after seeing you at the party.”
I pat Lloyd on the back. “Nice to know.” We are across the street from the café, and I see an empty table outside that I want. I’m about to step out into the crosswalk, but I realize Lloyd has stopped in his tracks.
“Whoa,” he says.
I follow his gaze across the street and get a weird feeling in my gut when I see what—or rather,who—he’s staring at. It has been a couple of days since I saw her in her apartment. Seeing her out in the wild is strange and exhilarating and I fucking hate how pretty she looks with her hair up. She’s wearing a long black dress with a jean jacket and carrying her huge tote bag as well as a shopping bag, standing on the sidewalk outside our destination. She looks at me hesitantly, like she doesn’t know if she should walk off in the other direction or wait there to say hello.
“That girl is…” Lloyd says under his breath. “My type.”
She is definitely notmytype, is what I’m thinking. Although I can’t really say what type she is, other than jarring and exhilarating to the point of aggravation. But I say nothing, and I am trying to will her, with my expression, to run away in the opposite direction. Instead of complying, as usual, she chooses to do the very thing that annoys me. She grins, plants her feet on the ground, crosses her arms, and waits for me to cross the street.
I just shake my head at her as we advance towards her. Lloyd sighs audibly, as he looks back at me. “She’s staring at you. Of course.” He notices me frowning back at her. “Wait—do you know her?”
“Barely,” I mutter.
“Well, hello there,” she says, arms still crossed, as if she’s been waiting for me for an hour. The black dress accentuates her creamy skin, and the sun lights up her reddish-brown hair. It makes her even more striking than usual, despite the casual outfit. I can’t take my eyes off of those damn rosy lips that look like they’ve been kissed hard, for hours. I get mad, wondering if some other guy has been kissing those lips—maybe her boss.
“Hi there,” I say, clearing my throat.
“Fancy seeingyouhere. This where you work?”
“Not right on this sidewalk exactly, but yeah, a few blocks from here.”
For some reason she appears to be pleased that she’s evoked a sarcastic utterance from me. “I was just running an errand for my boss.” She finally notices Lloyd staring at her. “Hi,” she smiles.
“Hi,” he says, holding his hand out. “I’m Lloyd.”
She shakes hands with him. “I’m Bernadette.”
“Bernadette,” Lloyd muses, like it’s a small song. “Nice. Hi.”
Christ, Lloyd, you already said that.“Lloyd and I work together,” I say out loud, but not to anyone in particular. “Bernadette lives in the apartment next to the one I’m currently staying in.”
“Oh, you’re neighbors?”
“For now,” she and I both clarify at the same time.
She laughs, I don’t.
There is a long awkward pause in conversation, and all of the street noises of Manhattan can’t seem to silence the voice in my head that is yelling at me to invite her to lunch.
I start to walk past her as I say: “Well, we’re going to have lunch and I have a meeting in an hour, so…”
“Right,” she says, shaking her head and laughing. “Me too. See ya.”
Lloyd stammers: “Hey you should—we should…”
“See you around, Farmer,” I say, ignoring the looks I get from both my temporary neighbor and my work friend.
Over lunch, I make a brief and convincing case to Lloyd that Bernadette is nuts and that she is obsessed with her boss and not a good candidate for him to date for many reasons.
I list all of the reasons, for his benefit, not for my own. It’s not like I need to remind myself of all the reasons why I wouldn’t and shouldn’t date her. I’d just rather talk about that than explain to Lloyd why Vanessa and I broke up.