5
Matt
My twelve o’clock meeting ran long and it isn’t until just after one that I can finally check my phone for an update from the dog daycare. It’s Daisy’s second day there, and the owner promised to send me a photo of her. I go straight to that text, ignoring all of the work e-mails and group texts from my friends, and there she is. My girl. Cavorting with a Cocker Spaniel and an Australian Shepherd on a lawn. She looks so happy to be outside, it makes my heart hurt.
I text back a quick message to thank the dog caretaker when I hear my protégé Lloyd say the thing that I’ve just been thinking: “That’s the first time I’ve seen you smile in ages.”
I immediately look up and frown at him. I don’t like knowing that people are aware of my moods. It’s not like I’m surprised—I know I’ve been a moody little shit this week. I just don’t want people to notice. Because when people notice, they tend to ask questions. And I don’t have answers. That’s not true. I don’t like the answers I’ll have to give.
“You had lunch yet?” he asks. Lloyd isn’t in my department. He’s in the engineering department of the leading ad tech company I work at. He and hundreds of other math and computer science geeks work to create a simple platform for corporations and individuals to market themselves on whatever channel, format and screen they choose to. My department provides legal support for global commercial/client transactions, data and licensing agreements, internal contracts, as well as strategic legal advice and counsel for the sales teams. It’s a lot of work, but being on an in-house general counsel team for one company is a sweet cushy job compared to working at a law firm. I know because I’ve done both. I’ve come to decide that I actually prefer working with nerds than other lawyers. In particular, I’ve somehow formed an acquaintance with Lloyd because he keeps coming to me asking for dating advice.
As if I’m some kind of expert.
He’s several years younger than me, and I always wanted a younger brother. I suggest grabbing a bite outside. Our office has all the amenities we’ve come to expect from leading tech companies: top notch healthy cafeteria, gym and yoga studio, ping-pong table. But seeing Daisy frolicking outside makes me want to get some fresh air too. Maybe I’m not pissed about Vanessa, maybe I just need more oxygen.
Nope, I’m pissed about Vanessa.
Being outside and seeing New Yorkers wandering around and eating lunch on benches and steps while gazing at cherry blossoms just makes me mad, as we head towards our usual lunch spot.
“So, that girl I told you about last month, the one I was texting with for a few weeks?”
“The one from the wedding?” Good. Let’s talk about Lloyd.
“Yeah. That never ended up going anywhere. We went back and forth making plans to meet up, but she kept having to reschedule and then finally she told me she got back together with her boyfriend.”
I stop walking for a second. Lloyd looks back at me. I don’t know why that revelation makes me so sad and angry, but it does. We continue on. “Sorry to hear about that, man. I know you liked her.”
“Yeah, well. So, you think I should just let it go?”
“Yes. Definitely. Let it go.”
“Yeah.” He looks over at me. “Everything okay with you?”
“I’m just hungry.”
“I’ve noticed that you’ve been working out at the office gym this week instead of the one you usually go to with Vanessa...”
Hearing someone else say her name is jarring and grating on my nerves.
I grunt a non-committal reply.
“And you’ve been…not happy lately. Stop me if I’m overstepping.”
“You are.”
“It’s just if you want to talk to me, you can. I’m always blabbing to you about my love life or lack thereof, but this should be a two-way street.”
“We broke up.”
He exhales as he pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Wow. Sorry. That’s…So you don’t live with her anymore?”
“I moved out.”
“Really? Wow. Where are you staying?”
“I was at a hotel in SoHo for a few days, now I’m at my aunt’s place until I find more permanent arrangements.”
“Yeah? My cousin’s a rental agent if you need a good one. He’s not a scammer.”
