I straightened, turned, and made it three steps before Hawk spoke.
“Could you stand beside me instead?”
I whipped around, eyes wide, and stared at him. He was looking at me now, eyes blazing, and after a second, he rose. His arms relaxed to his sides and his gaze was intense.
“Instead of in front of me, do you think you can learn to stand next to me? And let me stand next to you?”
“Hawk.” Relief flooded through me, making me lightheaded, and all I could do was choke out his name.
“I get the sentiment. I even like it on some level. Because you’re right in that I would want to protect you too. But,” he took a breath, readying himself. “I need a partner at my side, not shielding me.”
“I can try,” I managed.
Hawk took a step forward, then another. I did the same. But we both stopped when there was still a couple of feet between us, both realizing that we weren’t quite there yet. Hope bloomed though, bubbling up inside me.
Hawk nodded. “There is a part of me that is… grateful you stepped in. I never wanted to see that asshole again. But the bigger part of me wanted the chance to fight my own battles. I would have been able to do it. It would have been easy with you backing me up.”
Marielle’s voice crept into my head, the thing she’d said about how her and Elisa had talked about everything. Perhaps she hadn’t quite meant this, but I took the opening.
“How would….” I cleared my throat and restarted. “If the situation with fuckhead were to happen tomorrow, how would you want me to handle it?”
Hawk smirked at the nickname but it only lasted a second. “When you put the pieces together and figured out who he was, I would want you to come find me, tell me what was going on, and let me decide. I might have asked you to get rid of him. Or I might have held your hand as I confronted him.” He narrowed his gaze. “And Fern should have been able to make her own decisions about what clients she booked with.”
The last was said with a mix of seriousness and humor, so I allowed myself to crack a smile. “Fair enough. But in the interest of full disclosure, I’m still not entirely sorry about the way I handled things. You might have to remind me in the future to stand beside you. But I’ll try to do better. I really will.”
Hawk studied me for a long few moments. “As long as you’re actually trying, I have no problem calling you out.”
I barked a laugh, because he’d proven that time and again early on. I had no doubt he’d have no trouble taking me to task. Hawk actually smiled, though it still wasn’t a wide grin, and he stepped closer. I opened my arms, and he fell into them. I squeezed him tightly, burying my nose in his hair.
“I hate that we were at odds,” I murmured, kissing his head, then his temple. “But maybe that’s the only way we were going to get this out in the open and resolve it.”
Hawk lifted his head, his smirk on his lips. “Is it resolved?”
Since his eyes were twinkling, I knew he was at least being somewhat playful. “It’s getting there. I’m sure we have plenty of talking to do in the future. Plus, we need to have make up sex first.”
I wasn’t serious about the last thing, even though I always wanted him, but the way his breath caught had me reevaluating. I kissed his cheek, then nosed along his jaw until I got to his neck. When I pressed my lips there, he shuddered and tilted his head to give me better access.
“You like the idea of make up sex, baby?” I murmured into his skin. His fingers tightened on my shoulders, then immediately dropped to my waist. He didn’t hesitate to slide his fingers into my waistband and caress my skin.
That fast and I was turned on. The logical side of my brain said we should talk more before we got physical. There was plenty we still had to hash out and learn and understand about each other. My dick didn’t care about any of that. It wanted out of my pants and into his ass as fast as possible.
“Careful now,” I said on a groan, loving his touch. “I’m about to put you over this desk if you don’t watch it and I don’t have any condoms.”
Hawk let out a whine. “Screw the condoms. And I want you in my chair so I can ride you.”
He pulled and then shoved, and before I even realized what was happening, I landed in the chair. Hawk’s eyes were dark with want and lust, and his face was flushed. I scrambled to get my pants undone, wanting what he said so badly I could taste it. When he dropped to his knees, helping me slide my jeans and boxers off my hips, my brain did engage. Which was inconvenient but important. I cupped his face.
“Baby, are you sure?” I asked, panting for breath. His expression was priceless, dumbfounded that I would ask. I caressed his cheekbone with my thumb and elaborated. “Are you sure you want this here and now? I can wait until later, when we get to my house. I don’t want you to ever think I’m like—”
“No!” Hawk’s denial was fast and loud. “You aren’t. You aren’t like him. And I’m sorry I thought that for even a second before I got to know you.”
The relief was acute and I smiled, but I still had to ask. “Are you sure?”
“This is my choice, Carter. I want this here and now because I missed you and because I believe you.BecauseI know you’d never demand it. BecauseIwant it. Because I trust you.”
Good enough for me. With a nod, I let him finish what he was doing and then his mouth was on me, sucking hard and fast, getting me wet. My cock was like steel and I had to grit my teeth to keep my orgasm from building, wanting desperately to give him what he wanted. He wanted to ride me, and that was going to happen. After a few minutes, I gripped his hair and gently tugged him off.
“Climb on, baby,” I said, helping him to stand.
