“Buchanan.” She frowned at me before her expression turned alarmed. “What’s going on, Brubby?”
“Do you know where Carter went?” I looked around as if the man would materialize somewhere.
“No, I chased after the Buchanans as they left.” Clearly realizing I wasn’t going to answer her questions right then and there, she grabbed Teddy’s reins so I couldn’t just ride off. “Hawk, you’re worrying me. You need to tell me.”
“I will, I promise. But later. I need to talk to Carter.”
She searched my eyes for something, then nodded and let go. “Okay, I’d start wherever he’d normally look for you.”
Fern went toward Bluey, our six-seater golf cart she’d probably driven the clients over in, likely to drive herself back to the event barn.
I realized I had the two-way on my belt, so I grabbed it and pressed the button.
“HH here. Anyone see Carter? Over.”
It took a few seconds, then Wyanne’s voice came through. “I just saw him going toward the agility course, over.”
“Thanks, over.”
Turning Teddy around, I started toward the most likely route Carter would take once he noticed we weren’t at the course.
There were too many emotions roiling inside me to make sense of, but I hoped that by the time I found Carter I could put something into words.
I finally saw him a few minutes later, heading back toward the training barn. I let out a whistle, and his head snapped up. For a second, he smiled, then got serious again as he stopped to wait for us.
I let Teddy lope toward Carter and then slowed him down and brought him to a halt smoothly. This wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have on horseback, so I slid off the saddle and went to Carter.
“I just saw Fern,” I started, and he winced. “What the fuck is going on, Carter?”
He sighed, then his hand moved as if he wanted to touch me but then thought better of it.
“When Bodhi and I came down from the office, we bumped into Fern and this couple. I realized from the context clues and his behavior who they were, and I—”
“You told them to fuck off. Fern told me. But why? Why did you think you could, and fuckingshoulddo that?” I was getting angry, and I gave Teddy more rein to step back if he needed it.
Carter narrowed his gaze. “I wasn’t about to let a man like that anywhere near your sister. More importantly, I wasn’t going to let him have the satisfaction of getting under your skin. He doesn’t deserve to lay eyes on you ever again.”
“You took business away from Fern when she had no idea who these people were, Carter. Do you know how much that sort of a booking costs? That’s not insignificant money.” Before he could speak, I lifted my hand. “It wasn’t your place.”
He tilted his head. “Maybe not. Maybe you’re right. But this, what we have…baby, I’ll stand between you and anything—”
“And you dragged Bodhi into it and now he’ll want details. So does Fern. If I tell them, I’ll have to tell at least Gemma, too.” I wasn’t listening, too worked up to process his words. I ran my hand over my face and for the horse’s sake kept the growl inside that wanted to escape.
It was the lack of agency that bothered me about this the most. The fact that I hadn’t been able to handle the situation that’d happened inmy barn. It had nothing to do with my business, because they hadn’t been here for that. It hadeverythingto do with not having handled the confrontation myself, such as it would’ve been.
“When I dropped off the horse for them five years ago…. Do you know what the last thing I saw Richard doing before I droveoff?” I snorted bitterly. “He was fondling himself while his wife was inside the barn with the gelding. He wasgetting offon what he did to me. Don’t you think I wanted to confront him on my terms? On my turf? Where he doesn’t hold any power over me anymore? Would I have been fucked up meeting him again? Yeah, probably. But that’s my prerogative. I’m not a kid now. And you… you just made me feel like one.” The words fell out of my mouth before I knew that was how I was feeling.
I stepped away from him and shook my head. “I need space, Carter. I….” I didn’t know how to continue that sentence, so I tugged Teddy with me and left Carter standing there.
I took Teddy for a long ride to organize my thoughts.
It wasn’t that I didn’t know what Carter had tried to do. He’d tried to protect me.
I understood the urge. Hell, I knew that as soon as he would’ve gotten protective, Bodhi would’ve picked up on it and gone with it, because my brother was a protector.
What Richard had done was heinous. It was taking advantage of a young man who didn’t know any better. He’d taken my agency from me, and later on, while I hadn’t called anything he did rape, there was a part of me that wondered if some encounters had been close to it anyway.
The fact that I’d wondered meant there was some truth to it, and that made me uncomfortable.
