The bustle of talking, the hormones, the auras, the excitement of those around me wanting to get on the training mats and spar heightens.
Breathe… I need to focus on myself and only me.
I pull the sleeve of my hoodie back and stare at the tattoo on my wrist, tracing it with my eyes as I try to close off the storm of emotions from around me. Fear claws at me, and I feel a lumpforming in my throat.
Please, come on, hold on. It won’t last long…
I look around and slowly back away, wanting to find a corner. Not all the squads are here, maybe half – no, maybe a third, plus it’s only our year and older years. None of the younger ones are here.
But the emotions are so intense, so powerful.
“Alright! Everyone, pair off, or I’ll do it for you. You have five minutes to warm up!” Alpha John is one of our trainers. He’s retired now from his alpha duties. His son, who is in his late twenties, is now heading his pack. Even the teachers here are powerful, chosen for their skill.
I move to the mat in the corner and focus on my warm-ups, trying to practice my breathing as everyone talks and catches up about how their holidays went.
My walls. Focus on my walls. Focus, it’s just going to be two hours…
The moment Alpha John tells us to pair off, I look up to see Maddie, one of the girls from 3rd year who doesn’t have a partner, be sent my way by Alpha John. She looks pissed off and scoffs when she sees me.
“Will you even be able to throw in two punches or will you fall to your knees and cry like you usually do?” she mutters. Her mockery stings.
You don’t know why.
I don’t reply as I fall into stance, focus…
“Begin!” Alpha John’s voice rings through the air, and the surge of auras as the majority turn to offence hits me like a train. I can feel it, the hunger to win, the adrenaline to overpower theirenemies, the sheer will to succeed.
Maddie throws a punch, and I dodge, trying to block the emotions out, but that uncontrollable energy within me is waking up. Maddie’s eyes are full of annoyance and a drive to win. Wanting to hurt me as she throws punch after punch that I keep blocking, still struggling to squash the chaos that is rising inside of me, unable to focus on the match at all. Muscle memory is all that is working, as all my attention focuses on controlling the power within.
Punch. Dodge. Kick. Kick. Duck. Stumble.
I stagger back as a punch connects with my throat, and I’m thrown to the ground. The surge of energy ripples inside of me as if in defiance.
Stay down! I command it, but it’s futile.
The desire to destroy seeps into every crack of the room, hungry and eager, wanting to curl around the minds of every single person in this hall. Wanting to latch onto their fury, their despair, their hate. It’s trying to whisper to them, wanting to tempt them, begging them to tear into one another, to spill blood, to drown in madness until nothing remains but carnage.
I want that.
Stop!
I clutch my head, nails digging into my scalp, despising the thoughts that slither through my mind, thoughts that I can never speak out loud or tell anyone.
It wants them dead. It wants me to kill.
“You’re so pathetic. I didn’t even go hard on you!” Maddie’s taunt rings through my head, hammering loudly inside my skull.
Before I can stop it, a sliver of that chaotic energy reachestoward her. I yank it back just as her foot slams into the side of my head, the impact sending me sprawling.
I could end them. Every single one of them. A flick of my wrist, and they’d be gone. They’d be dead.
STOP!
A whimper escapes before I can stifle it. The dread coils tighter, suffocating me, holding me in its chokehold.
Control it, come on, you can do this!I tell myself.
“Enough, Maddie!” Alpha John says, “Sienna?”
