“How about five? Three for you, Saff, and Sky, and we’ll pick up two for Isla and Archie, too.”
“Six?” Brook pulled out his excellent bartering skills, displaying five fingers and a thumb with adorable puppy dog eyes. “One for you, too!”
“Fine, six. But only a mini one for me, okay?”
Eiley had been folding a lot recently. She was afraid she’d made the wrong decision in giving Finlay a chance, and was already trying to make up for the inevitable hurt by being extra generous with all the children. She’d been surprised that Brook had agreed to the trip at all, though it had been thepromise of a ghost tour through the city on the spookiest weekend of the year that had truly swayed him. He’d asked about his dad a lot after Finlay had first left them, but the questions had faded with time, and with plenty of family to fill the void, it was the first they’d spoken about it in months.
Still, there weren’t many children who could say no to their parent. Eiley thought that, given the chance to see her dad again, she’d always say yes, even if it was just to tell him what a terrible waste of space he’d been. That hope when Brook had asked, “Will I have a daddy again?” had cracked her resolve, and she’d texted Finlay last night to tell him yes, she would give him a chance to fix things with them. At least Saff couldn’t remember the hurt. Sky was often so lost in his own world that she couldn’t be sure how he felt. He’d nodded when Eiley had asked if he wanted to go, but she’d still have to be careful. Travelling and sensory overwhelm weren’t often an easy combination to manage.
“Yay! Come on, Auntie Harp!” Brook dragged Harper away, her plaid scarf, which was worn for fashion purposes rather than necessity, trailing behind her.
Eiley smiled and began to set up her card reader and cash box, mouth soon falling when her cheery family disappeared into the lively fields. There was a pressed bruise in her that felt different, more tender, than usual. Not just the familiar veil of depression, something she could lift and manage most days, but a creature that moved inside her with restless claws, scraping her raw. She hated how things had ended with Warren. How he’d thrown their intimacy in her face like it was some sort of proof that she was wrong for trying to fix her family.Worse, she feared his barbed words would prove to be true. Could she trust Finlay?
A few customers descended on to the book bus, distracting her for long enough that she could just about breathe again. She regarded the romance books one woman purchased with sadness. They’d been her happy place, but now the thought of kisses and flirting and passionate S-E-X only made the claws shred harder, so she was currently avoiding anything with even a hint of those things.
Those novels had let her imagine that safe, uncomplicated, exhilarating love could exist. In real life, it only led to heartbreak and arguments. She should have known that getting closer to Warren would prove that, leave her longing for a bond that was always destined to be broken. A future that would never be hers.
With the house.Hishouse. She hadn’t even considered that he might want to settle down. That he’d thought about life beyond notches on his bed post. No wonder he’d been angry. She’d got him wrong every step of the way.
“Eiley!” Her name was being singsonged on repeat, and she snapped out of her autopilot customer greetings to find Blair’s beaming face. The teaching assistant looked lovelier than ever, glossy hair windswept, wearing black Hunter wellies and a paisley-print dress in rusted orange. She clutched a bouquet of bright sunflowers in one hand, nails a pretty burgundy colour against the green stems.
“Hello! You look very nice.” Eiley pretended she was glad to see her but she was struggling to cope with keeping her public face on. Behind her eyes, a headache was forming, thepressures of socialising matched with the racket of kids screaming in the scare maze quickly depleting her battery.
“Thank you! I’m so glad to see the bookstore all up and running. What a great idea, putting it on wheels!” Blair tucked her thumb under the strap of her handbag as she admired the van.
“Aye, I can’t take credit for it. It was Maggie’s idea.”
“Well, either way, looks like business is booming.” She bounced excitedly on the balls of her feet. “I might have to browse the shelves. I’ve been craving a good thriller.”
“They’re right at the back if you want to go in.” Eiley pointed and hoped that would be it, but Blair lingered. No wonder Warren had been interested. She was the exact opposite of Eiley, all bubbly joy and effortless warmth.
“So, have you had a nice half-term with the kids,” asked Blair, “or are you eager to usher them back into school on Monday?”
“I think the lack of routine always throws Sky off a bit,” Eiley admitted. “But we’re having a good time, getting lots of woodland walks in before the weather turns.”
“Aw, fab!” Blair crooned. “If you ever want to chat about how we can support Sky during the holidays, please let me know. I can imagine it’s tough.”
“Thank you.” Eiley’s voice softened with gratitude. She’d been so lucky to find a support network for Sky that worked, not just with forest school, but social workers and local support groups. With their help, he was slowly coming out of his shell, communicating with gestures, expressions, and even sign language whereas once, he’d been completely separated fromthe world. After a few speech therapy sessions, she even had hope that he might speak one day.
She made an effort in return. “How about you? How have you been?”
“Actually …” Blair bit her bottom lip, plum-purple lipstick smearing on her teeth. “Well, I wanted to talk to you about Warren, the firefighter. It seemed like there was some tension in class the other week.”
A stone rose in Eiley’s throat at the mention of him, and she tried to gulp it down. Failed. “No tension. We just had a wee misunderstanding during the flood a few weeks back, but I barely know him.” She’d never been any good at lying, and was certain Blair would see right through her.
Or not. Blair wiped her brow in relief. “Phew. That’s good to know, because he actually asked me if I’d be interested in going to dinner with him.”
“Oh. Lovely,” said Eiley, wiping her clammy palms against her jeans. He’d certainly moved on quickly.
Her lungs felt crushingly tight at the thought of him kissing someone else the way he’d kissed her. Touching them. Teasing them. Would he take her back to his van? Would Blair kiss his scars the way she had? Would she notice when he froze like he was afraid of having to explain them?
“And are you?” Eiley pushed, afraid of the answer. “Interested, that is?”
“I’d be crazy not to be, let’s be honest.” Blair fanned her reddening face dramatically. “I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t stepping on any toes, that’s all.”
“Nope. My toes are great …”
Blair frowned.
